So, I have been doing the same work for the last 17 years. I am a web designer, UI/UX expert, and front-end developer (to some level). I have been working as a freelancer since the beginning.
Now I am turning 43. I have 2 small kids and good life. But, I feel that it's time to move on. I have felt that way for some time.
You seem fortunate. And wise.
One day about thirty years ago I came home to find that my roommate had wriiten "I don't have a careeer, I have a series of mistakes!" A talented person who had a Phd in Agricultural Economics from Cornell, she had posted this on the refrigerator door in frustration.
At the time I was more amused by the clever and humorous phrasing than concerned for her future, as she was clearly bright and generally an upbeat person. In time, her moment of frustration seemed to also define my career, whereas my roommate went on to become a professor at a well known East coast college.
Another antidote from another roommate has stuck with me and also partly defined my life. He was an English major who wanted to be a poet and I was a carpenter who wanted to be an artist (not alrogether unreasonable as I later received a scholarship to attend Pratt, although I never did.)
He was getting ready to graduate and had applied to become a Naval aviator. He had been in the Marines Recon before college so also not a stretch or unrealistic. His testing went well but he was ultimately rejected for being too old. It was crushing.
One day he said he was applying for law school. He said it like he was seeking my blessing or understanding. He said, "Dave, I just want to get into the food chain." Over the years that too has partly defined my career path. My friend went on to become a Naval JAG and later a DA at a small city.
I went into the Army late in life, which was ironic as I had a four year Air Force ROTC scholarship and had dropped out of college in my Sophomore year. Long story, unstable family led to unstable student.
As I was ending my four year enlistment, I applied to become a Deputy US Marshal. After testing, I was selected to join one of the two upcoming 20 person classes. They told me that 13,000 people had applied.
Unfortunately, there was a budget crisis and the second class was canceled. It was twice as painful as I had been offered the first class but chose the second so I would have time to get married first.
I had a job as a high voltage electrician apprentice at NASA at the time, which I thought would be temporary until I could start the Marshal training. Wanting desperately to get into the food chain, i started taking accounting classes at night. In a few years I moved from the HV department to the accounting department.
One day I received a call asking me if I still wanted to become a Deputy US Marshal. I honestly think it was one of the most exciting days in my life. I said yes and was told to come to the DC office to take a physical.
I arrived at the scheduled time, rode the elevator up to the gym, got off and turned to face a poster that read, "One in the head, two in the chest." That got my adrenaline pumping and I ran the miles around the building faster than I thought I could. I had pased and was scheduled for a class.
I couldn't believe my luck and my wife and I began planning.
Again, I got a phone call. This time there was a problem. My appointment was based on my original certification back when I first qualified. That was nearly five years earlier and was now expiring, as they only lasted for five years. The HR person said that normally they could easily extend the certificate for a few months to get me into class. However, because my birthday was one month before the class, i was too old now and they weren't allowed to extend the certificate.
So I became an accountant. Two years later we moved to the West Coast when my daughter was a year and a half and now our second daughter is graduating from college this Spring with a Mechanical Engineering degree and I am retired.
The moral of the story? I think it might be more difficult for people who have had success early in life when they turn middle age. It's natural to question what might have been as they look towards the diminishing years ahead. For someone like myself who struggled early while also working their ass off unsuccessfully, there is great joy in simply being able to join the food chain and raise the family without struggling.
From my limited perspective, you are living the dream. Two small kids, a good life, with enough left over to buy a watch now and then. Plus, you can still make films as a hobby, either now or in retirement. Unless you need the money, i suggest you not sell the equipment. Or sell it to trade up. Squeeze in an online film course, or join a like-minded club. It doesn't have to be all or nothing at all. Regardless, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
