A pretentious, snobby, old fashioned guide to choosing a strap

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Grade: F
There's no orange on the watch, and you've got very modern looking straps on a faux vintage watch. The result is a clash of styles. You need a faux vintage rubber strap for that. You're probably one of those resto-modders who puts orange pin stripes on innocent vintage cars. Fie to your anachronisms
Ouch.
 
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Hamilton Piping Rock on a black shark strap.

Grade: B
Right colors and you're in the neighborhood, but on a tuxedo watch like that, nothing beats black, high-gloss patented leather crocodile.
 
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Grade: A
Simple is best
so you are breaking your own rules. Grade A for a leather racing strap on a diver?
 
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Oku Oku
so you are breaking your own rules. Grade A for a leather racing strap on a diver?

That is a natural rubber Tropic strap.
 
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That is a natural rubber Tropic strap.
In this case, I withdraw my comment.
 
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That is a natural rubber Tropic strap.
Damn right! an original Tropic Sport to be precise.
 
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Now what is proper form for sailing / yachting watches?

It depends on the watch. Sailcloth straps are permissible here, as are nice, 2 piece nylon straps with pin buckles. You don't want leather or cloth or anything that will chafe if it gets wet.
Edited:
 
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It depends on the watch. Sailcloth straps are permissible here, as are nice, 2 piece nylon straps with pin buckles. You don't want leather or cloth or anything that will chafe if it gets wet.
Stainless baby!

 
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Stainless baby!


That looks like a fairly generic bezel insert on that hottie. Have you searched around for something?

Also, what is the bracelet? looks like it might fit my Hamilton Cape Horn if it's 18mm.
 
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That looks like a fairly generic bezel insert on that hottie. Have you searched around for something?

Also, what is the bracelet? looks like it might fit my Hamilton Cape Horn if it's 18mm.
Ha-ha-harumph 🤔

Uncle Seiko Holzer with 19mm endlinks, but I think he did a line of 18mm for the Speedy reduced (not sure if he did the Holzer in 18), haven’t checked them out.

Sorry for the bracelet drift on a strap thread- but sometimes there is no substitute for stainless.
 
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It depends on the watch. Sailcloth straps are permissible here, as are nice, 2 piece nylon straps with pin buckles. You don't want leather or cloth or anything that will chafe if it gets wet.

Gets wet.??? These aren’t for wearing on boats….no they are only to be worn by armchair admirals in the bar of the yacht club,
I’d say leather, so long as it matches their silly docksider boat shoes and doesn’t clash with their white shorts, blue blazer and captain’s hat!
The later is never worn in the bar as if caught wearing a hat in the yacht club bar one is required to shout the bar, and these old bastards are too miserable for that, no they carry it around in the bar or wear it going to or from the bar to the Mercedes SUV.

These old buffers own a boat, moored somewhere down in the marina, but they’re not sure where as they never get on it.
The boat is either a barnacle habitat or they have other people sailing it for them, so they can bask in the glory of their crew’s victories from the comfort and safety of the yacht club bar.


Here is one of mine, no I’m not an armchair admiral nor ever was, I don’t sail anymore and didn’t wear one when I did.
Back when I was competing, I was one of those oddities that raced his own boat and none of us ever raced using one of these things for our timing, too hard to read quickly and pushers are too small to be fumbling about with using cold wet hands.
Let alone bother with the next to impossible to read or remember how to use tactical calculators fitted to some of these things.
No we used proper dedicated instruments fitted to the boat. ( other than the starting countdown timer I myself mostly ignored them and sailed by the seat of my pants)

Another two from my collection
I hated the stupid cheap and nasty looking plastic bands that came with these, the one on the bund is awaiting it’s turn at repair.
Yes I know I’ll cop shit for the bund but it’s only on there until it comes outta dry dock, something better will be found for it then. Better in sits properly in one of the watch boxes than floating about strapless in a draw.
so you may well ask why I have three of these things?
It’s because I like the fact that some cleaver bugger figured out the complications even though they aren’t practical….. let’s face it we rarely use the complications on our watches because they’re well named “complications” says it all.
Who actually uses and for that matter remembers how to the slide rule calculators on aviator watches when you have real instruments fitted to the plane, unless you flying an old square rigger ( string bag and canvas biplane)
 
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I don’t sail anymore and didn’t wear one when I did.
Back when I was competing, I was one of those oddities that raced his own boat

Sailing and Sailboat races are about as exciting as watching paint dry. That shit is for the wine and cheese crowd. Give me a twin-engine sport fisherman with fly bridge! And I need one big enough to host bikini parties on as well. 😁

 
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Sailing and Sailboat races are about as exciting as watching paint dry. That shit is for the wine and cheese crowd. Give me a twin-engine sport fisherman with fly bridge! And I need one big enough to host bikini parties on as well. 😁

Growing up on Bayliners and Chriscraft with 350 Chrysler screws, I feel ya.
 
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Now what is proper form for sailing / yachting watches?
People watching from the shore typically. I mentioned this recently but of all the sailing watches Omega has made the X-33 Regatta watch and X-33 team watch are the only practical ones. The Rolex Yacht-Master II is the most hilarious one, nobody will ever wear one of those while racing a boat, unless he’s phoning in instructions to his crew from the shore.
 
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Sailing and Sailboat races are about as exciting as watching paint dry. That shit is for the wine and cheese crowd.

Depends where you're watching from. If it's the deck of a boat alternately dipping the end of the boom into the water and then the spinnaker pole on the the other side, well that gets your heart going somewhat. Knowing that it's your job to get on the foredeck and haul that spinnaker down while rounding the next mark adds to the heartrate too.

Taking the spinnaker below to band it up because it might be needed to be hoisted again puts, shall I say, certain vertical pressures on the digestive system. But, hey, throwing up does leave more room for the wine & cheese when the race is over.

I should add that racing while being at anchor and watching the speed at which beer bottles dropped from other boats go by on the tide in the wrong direction can also happen. That's not so much fun, but "no windee no sailee".
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Sailing is a sport for doing not watching, you’re too bloody busy to be bored. I’d rather have my brain removed with a rusty spoon than watch it.
And a sailboat is the ideal place to nurse a hangover on a calm day, just drifting about alone without roaring engines or anybody to annoy you.

As for hot water boats
I had my fair share of those too, they were for work, partying on or going seriously fast across the water. No fishing equipment either required or permitted, I didn’t want to be bored to death with fishing talk or have their smelly bait contaminating the beer eskies not no mention discarded rusty hooks getting stuck in my feet.

The one thing all boats are is a hole in the water into which you tip money.
Similar to aircraft and women. A plane is a money sucking hole in the air, and women well….. probably best to to mention holes there!
As I believe PJ O’Rourke said on the subject:
“ If it floats, flies or fucks, it’s cheaper to rent it!”