Just to illustrate how difficult it can be to learn theses lessons: I rent space in a large office complex, with a number of solo practitioners. In my small area, which I share with two other guys, there is one thermostat that controls the temperature of our entire area.
The guy who rents space across from me, no matter what the season, will invariably jump up and adjust the thermostat to suit his own personal comfort needs. He is always too cold in the summer and winter, meaning he either cranks the heat up to unbearable levels, or shuts the air off when it's desperately needed.
I've tried to counter this, over nearly ten years now, by attempting to lead by example: I always say, before making any adjustments, "Hey Jim (name has been changed to protect the guilty), do you mind if i change the temperature in here?" Still, he doesn't get the idea. We've even had confrontations about it, and, while its good for a while, he will eventually revert back to his usual, passive-aggressive ways, like making a change when I've gone out for lunch.
Now, you would think that after my previously-noted, life-changing epiphany about giving someone the benefit of the doubt, I would default to thinking, this guy shows no consideration because he was probably abused/neglected/treated similarly, thus he has no road map about how to treat other people. Yet, every morning that I arrive at work, and see his car in the driveway, I am disappointed that he hasn't suffered a massive stroke, or died in a fiery car wreck. But I'm working on it. With varying levels of success. Just today, I was walking down the stairs, and saw a loose floor board. Then I fantasized that he would take a misstep, and tumble down them...
