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You really never know what someone else is going through...

  1. M'Bob Jul 16, 2018

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    Yesterday, at the gym, I was doing squats, and a guy I know from my community, who doesn't know me, walked over when I was between sets, standing right there, and pulled off weights from the end of my bar to place on his bar for bench presses. A clear violation of gym etiquette.

    So I walked over to him, and I said, "Were you certain when you took those weights off my bar that I was finished using them?" He told me he was distracted, and sincerely apologized. Me thinking, geez, what a dip-shit.

    My wife calls me this morning, to tell me that this guy's son is in the hospital, gravely ill. So, it turns out, he had a right to be distracted, and I, in fact, am the dip-shit.

    I post this only to remind everyone to cut somebody some slack, even if they're acting poorly, because you never know what's going on in their lives. And, it could be you one day who needs the break...
     
  2. sdre Jul 16, 2018

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    I remember this old saying,

    “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle,” - Plato

    Kudos buddy. Don't be too hard on yourself too :)
     
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  3. M'Bob Jul 16, 2018

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    Thank you very much.
     
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  4. ulackfocus Jul 16, 2018

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    Where's the fun in that? ::stirthepot:: :p
     
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  5. Fritz genuflects before the mighty quartzophobe Jul 16, 2018

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    you can always be trusted for a sympathetic ear.
     
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  6. kov Trüffelschwein. Jul 16, 2018

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    People might think of you something you aren’t :D
     
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  7. LouS Mrs Nataf's Other Son Staff Member Jul 16, 2018

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    Not Plato. He might have said "Kudos" but not the other thing.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Maclaren
     
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  8. michael22 Jul 16, 2018

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    You handled it well, IMO. Not a dip shit.
     
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  9. M'Bob Jul 16, 2018

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    Thank much for the feedback.
     
  10. blufinz52 Hears dead people, not watch rotors. Jul 16, 2018

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    Maybe he thought you wouldn't notice 5 lbs missing from each side :whistling:
     
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  11. M'Bob Jul 16, 2018

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    Had he not taken it from just one side, I perhaps would have let it go. Maybe not.
     
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  12. amiriqbal Jul 18, 2018

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    Psychologists call this fundamental attribution error:
    Our default position when observing someone else's behaviour is to attribute it to an inherent character trait (they are rude/inconsiderate etc ), and not take into account situational factors.

    When we ourselves display aberrant behaviours, as we are aware of the situational factors at play, we seldom label ourselves as rude/inconsiderate people by nature.

    The OP's description is a powerful illustration of this concept. One of my main learning points, during my time on this is earth, is the power of the situational and contextual factors on our behaviours vs internal factors/morals/beliefs.
     
  13. amiriqbal Jul 18, 2018

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    And well done @M'Bob for reflecting on this, learning from the experience, and posting it so we can also reflect!! :)
     
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  14. sevenhelmet Jul 18, 2018

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    Either way, I'd say you were pretty reasonable about it. A lot of guys would have gotten confrontational. Good on you for asking the question and recognizing that it could have been an honest mistake.
     
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  15. M'Bob Jul 18, 2018

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    Thank you both for your insightful and generous posts.
     
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  16. BatDad Jul 18, 2018

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    Asking the question as opposed to starting from a confrontational stance. Skillfully done M'Bob!
     
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  17. M'Bob Jul 18, 2018

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    Thank you, but in the spirit of full disclosure, it was tinged with a fair dose of self-righteousness.
     
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  18. Wryfox Jul 19, 2018

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    With all due respect, this is common sense, well actually just human nature. I'm surprised (not surprised) there is a Psychologist term for it.

    If you have no other evidence on which to base an alternate conclusion, one must take the demonstrated bad behavior at face value and conclude a person was in fact being rude/inconsiderate, etc. ie some people are just jerks, and I'm sure there is a clever psychologist term for that too. ::screwloose::
     
  19. M'Bob Jul 19, 2018

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    You are correct, of course. But the point is, sometimes bad behavior is due to inherent jerkiness, and sometimes the jerkiness has mitigating factors. And often, you won't know them. So, we default to thinking the world if full of assholes (which is partly true), rather than reacting like the world is full of injured people, which is more likely the case.

    To wit: you took a perfectly constructive, meaningful post, and then took the opportunity to throw the field of psychology under the bus. Why would you do that? I could think that you're just another, anonymous forum poster with a bug up his ass; or, I could give you the benefit of the doubt, and believe that you're a fundamentally good guy, who for whatever reason, has a bad taste in his mouth having dealt with a psychologist.
     
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  20. Wryfox Jul 19, 2018

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    My point was to boil it down to what I consider to be a logically obvious understanding, with a dash of facetiousness, nothing more.