Wrestling with my brother over dad’s watch...

An interesting story about two brothers, money, and dad’s watch. https://www.google.com/amp/s/humanparts.medium.com/amp/p/c43f67bdce2d

Thankfully, my parents are still with us. I enjoy the stories on OF where people find dad’s or grandpa’s watch and are able to enjoy it - any thoughts on how to make dividing of the inheritance an exercise that doesn’t divide the family?

The person leaving the will should discuss it with all of the beneficiaries before they die! And if you are leaving less (or nothing) to someone that you know might be expecting more, then for crying out loud tell them and all other beneficiaries that as well...before you die! Lack of communication and transparency before death leads to nasty disputes over wills. My Dad died in November 2017. In June 2017 he called a family meeting with my Mum, me and my siblings and told us everything about what he wanted to happen after his death. Genius on his part. My Mum has now done the same, having just re-done her will recently.

I'm an estate planning attorney. I typically have language for the siblings to pick jewelry or other personal property one at a time with an ultimate equal distribution. Either the trustee chooses who picks first or do something like pull names out of a hat. If the jewelry has substantial value I advise my clients to sit down with the kids and be open as possible if someone wants something and then put specific language in the trust or will.

When my grandparents died, they left four children with one share each, and two grandchildren with half shares. Art created by one of the heirs went back to that heir, and recent gifts to the grandparents from the heirs went back to the giver. Then for the remaining personal items, we acted on the estate attorney's suggestion: each child picked one item from the estate in birth order, then the children picked a second item in birth order, then the grandchildren picked their items. We went through about five rounds before we exhausted everyone's picks of value. No one announced what they were going to pick ahead of their turn, to minimize hurt feelings.