Watches for sale, with humorous descriptions

Can anyone try and beat this description.

In July of 2019 I sold off some military watches on fleabay, I keep the description of an A17 Waltham up for sale at the time from a seller on Japan. Came across it this morning looking for something else and thought it worth sharing, It is exactly as appeared in the listing. I think the final sentence is brilliant.
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Rare military watches of Waltham were received!

With the brand which Lincoln that the history for American oldest 150 years was jam-packed loved deeply, the technique and passion are inherited well even now.

On the lindera board which died exquisitely, a needle and an index burnt uniformly are the atmosphere full loading of the vintage. The bezel is finished in the taste of the coin edge style and is cool.

TYPE A-17 which was delivered to the U.S. forces from Waltham in the 1950s. It is a hack function not to have to forget as a characteristic of A-17. A hack function is the function that pulls Lew when I put time together by putting the time together by a second unit and a second unit, and stops the second hand.

The name is derived from having used the shout called "hack" when hired soldiers put time together by a second unit at the same time formerly all over the wartime. There is the age-style suitable aging, but is in state that it is good without a wound outstanding generally!

The vintage military of Waltham! Without opportunity passing over this in being a piece of thing!

Thos automated translations definitely don’t work so well with Japanese….

Indeed they don't. I'd say I'm used to quite some weird translations from scrolling through the Japanese classifieds on a regularly basis, but sometimes I do wonder what on earth the original was. Recently stumbled upon a Connie with a pie pan dial, and in the title (!) it advertised a "12 angle shaved [derogatory term for the female sex organ]". I won't post a picture of it. But I did try some back-and-forth translating out of curiosity, couldn't make sense of it.

I have been telling people for years that they don’t want to know what “pie-pan” means in Japanese.

I usually frown on making fun of good-faith attempts to communicate in English, which nowadays are probably automatic machine-translations packaged with the selling site, so sellers are at the mercy of whatever Google decides they’re trying to say. The passage in the OP might be an authentically bad and misguided human translation, though, which the seller should know better than. The explanation of the origins of “hack” is actually decipherable enough for me to have learned something.

I spell it vext as a Scrabble bore, but I should start telling people it’s from my love of Austen.

I cannot speak English, so when I post on this forum, I use a translation service (Google Translate, DeepL translation) to translate from Japanese to English.

If don't mind, I would like to know, for the sake of future study, which part humorous descriptions?
I know this is a nonsense question asking for an explanation of the "humorous descriptions."...

The word hack has been … well, hacked ‘in the computer sense’ and some how morphed into a word that users employ when they mean “tips” (as in hints or shortcuts).
I put it up (down?) there with ‘gifted’. I’m not sure exactly when gift (n) became a verb but I’ll blame Americans, most probably those who use “in back of” when they mean to say “behind”.

with of course the appropriate apologies to North American members who have some idea of English construction. 😉

I do not know how the word "Hack" become almost the sole property of computer geeks or before that describe a watch function but my thoughts are

Hack appeared in the dictionary several hundred years ago with the meaning of chopping or slicing at trees or vegetation, sort of using the sound that action makes to define the word.

When, much later, it was used to describe a poor quality writer, it makes sense as the writer had hacked other peoples work about to use as his own.

So in the context of "Playing about or interfering" with, it fitted well with the "Watch Complication"of setting the seconds function by stopping part of the movement.

In the digital age the geeks who interfered with other peoples coding called themselves "Hackers", and that term has become a negative description as the activity moved from fun to crime

Why words are stolen and re-used rather than a new word constructed, is probably just for convenience and speed of adoption.

Just think about the word 'Gay" and its journey from its original use to its usage in the 20th century.

As blame is essential in the 21st century it is fair game to put that on North Americans who are brilliant at "Hacking" the English language.