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time flies
·
My 4 and a half year old told me this and we both couldn't stop laughing.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?
Aye matey!
...arrrrrrrr
Sorry.
have fun
kfw
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
...arrrrrrrr
Sorry.
have fun
kfw
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haqq777
·
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Edward53
·Haben die Deutschen ein beliebtestes Nagetier?
Jawohl!
Figure it out....
Jawohl!
Figure it out....
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Canuck
·“Do the Germans have a favourite rodent?” Yes! Enquiring minds want to know.
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Edward53
·
He's figured it out....
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ConElPueblo
·Thanks to Google Translate. The only German words I know I wouldn’t repeat on a public forum. NOT EVEN on the Omega Message Board!
You need to know English more than German to figure out the point of the joke 😉
Hint: it is a joke in the same category as the "aye matey" one.
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Canuck
·Jokes that require an explanation often aren’t very funny.
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Edward53
·Jokes that require an explanation often aren’t very funny.
OK, this time in English.
"Do the Germans have a favourite rodent?"
"Ja vole!"
You will tell this one to your friends next time you are exchanging jokes after a few beers. You can deny it all you like now, but you will. Resistance is futile!
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Zuke
·OK, this time in English.
"Do the Germans have a favourite rodent?"
"Ja vole!"
You will tell this one to your friends next time you are exchanging jokes after a few beers. You can deny it all you like now, but you will. Resistance is futile!
Sorry it's even worse now. Was better in German when I didn't know what the joke was.
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Canuck
·Why is there no “comes the light” emoticon?
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Buck2466
·My other watch😁
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JimInOz
··Melbourne AustraliaThe "200 Posts to Sell" rule.
Explanation
The blow-ins who have "grandad's watch and don't know where to sell it".
By the time the mods can deal with it the PMs have already melted the interweb wires.
Explanation
The blow-ins who have "grandad's watch and don't know where to sell it".
By the time the mods can deal with it the PMs have already melted the interweb wires.
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marco
·When I started my first job more than half the office must have had the same interview !
https://www.disco3.co.uk/forum/funny-picture-thread-159579-75.html
https://www.disco3.co.uk/forum/funny-picture-thread-159579-75.html
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MMMD
·OK, this time in English.
"Do the Germans have a favourite rodent?"
"Ja vole!"
You will tell this one to your friends next time you are exchanging jokes after a few beers. You can deny it all you like now, but you will. Resistance is futile!
On that note...
Q: According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?
A: Fünf.
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JimInOz
··Melbourne AustraliaThe crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"
"John." the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name!" the chief scowled.
"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever; and you are to refer to me as 'Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Aye, Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."
"John." the new seaman replied.
"Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name!" the chief scowled.
"It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever; and you are to refer to me as 'Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye, Aye, Chief!"
"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"
The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."
"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ...."
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dougiedude
··Carpe horologium!I'm not sure this one ever made it to here from it's original thread in 2017; it would deserve a repeat regardless, so here it is again:
2 doctors are in A & E when they see a man walking in very slowly & gingerly. I bet he has a slipped disc, says the first. And i say he's got runner's heels says the second. So they go up to the guy & let him know their diagnosis'.
The man looks at the first doctor & replies " So, you say i have a slipped disc? Well, you're wrong"He turns to the second doctor & says " and you say i have runners heels? well, you're wrong too" He turns to walk off slowly again when the doctors cry out "wait, then what is it?"
Well, i thought i was going to fart, but i was wrong".
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Canuck
·Here is a good Canadian one for you.
A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar in Toronto when this
huge, burly guy walks in.
As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the
floor. The big, burly guy says, "That's a karate chop from Korea."Well, the Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his
beer.
The burly guy then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he
walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and
knocks him to the floor."That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.
The Newfie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he
comes back and sees the burly guy sitting at the bar. He walks up
behind him and smacks him on the head, knocking him out cold.
The
Newfie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a
f^#*in' crowbar from Canadian Tire."
Virus-free. www.avast.com
A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar in Toronto when this
huge, burly guy walks in.
As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the
floor. The big, burly guy says, "That's a karate chop from Korea."Well, the Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his
beer.
The burly guy then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he
walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and
knocks him to the floor."That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.
The Newfie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he
comes back and sees the burly guy sitting at the bar. He walks up
behind him and smacks him on the head, knocking him out cold.
The
Newfie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a
f^#*in' crowbar from Canadian Tire."
Virus-free. www.avast.com