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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]
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M'Bob
·Science education lacking in the States?
“Mommy, where do crackers come from?”
“Cows, I think. Oh wait…”
“Mommy, where do crackers come from?”
“Cows, I think. Oh wait…”
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Vercingetorix
··Spam RiskThe word humor is in the title. Humor meaning amusing or comic. Funny. Please stay on topic.
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hen
·
Whats red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Edited:
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hen
·Ok tough crowd, lets try these then.
My wife dressed up in a cop uniform and arrested me for being too good in bed.
2 minutes later all the charge was dropped.
My wife complained that I only lasted 2 minutes in bed.
But it was doggy style, so thats at least 14 dog minutes.
Thank you people, Ill be here all week.
The last one is for Mbob; I told my cracker a joke, but it just crumbled under pressure.
My wife dressed up in a cop uniform and arrested me for being too good in bed.
2 minutes later all the charge was dropped.
My wife complained that I only lasted 2 minutes in bed.
But it was doggy style, so thats at least 14 dog minutes.
Thank you people, Ill be here all week.The last one is for Mbob; I told my cracker a joke, but it just crumbled under pressure.
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JimInOz
··Melbourne AustraliaThe woman in front of me at the supermarket today smelled really nice so I went up close for good sniff.
Apparently it was "Leave me the Fa Cologne!"
Apparently it was "Leave me the Fa Cologne!"
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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lindo
·Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By coincidence both were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest and tripped over the snake and fell down. Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth and can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am".
"That's ok," replied the snake. "Actually, I too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and figure out what you are so you'll know."
"That would be wonderful," replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement.
The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.
I'd say you must be someone in senior management."
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest and tripped over the snake and fell down. Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth and can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am".
"That's ok," replied the snake. "Actually, I too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and figure out what you are so you'll know."
"That would be wonderful," replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement.
The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.
I'd say you must be someone in senior management."
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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hen
·
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Scarecrow Boat
··Burt Macklin, FBI
In fact, it's Dublin.
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hen
·
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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DaveK
··Yoda of YodelersWith compliments from the Vancouver YVR mall
