It’s the right time to revive this classic ~



Merry Christmas to all!

 

Um, thanks. I’ll head over to McDonald’s…

 

Geeeee!

 

I guess that legally, they have to declare that

 

I suspect they’re a key customer.

 

...

 

A Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall.

He asks the bartender, "What the hell is that?"

The bartender replies, "It's a moose."

The Scottish man's jaw drops and he shouts, "Well fu*k me! How big are the fu*king cats?"

 

Got it!

 

...

 

A wife is having an affair when her husband comes home early. Quick jump out the window she tells her boyfriend. No way it is raining hard outside he says. I can hear my husband coming up this stairs, he is crazy, has a gun and will kill us both if he catches you here she explains. Without further argument the guy grabs his stuff, jumps out the window naked and starts running. He saw a group of joggers and tried to blend in with them rather unsuccessfully.
Do you always run naked? one jogger asked. Yes I love to run barefoot and feel the air against my skin he replied.
Do you always carry your clothes and shoes under your arm when you run another asked? Yes so I can get dressed quickly and drive home at then end of a run he further explained. Finally a jogger asked ... and do you always wear a condom?....to which he replied straight faced...only when it is raining ;0)

 

What do you call a bear without teeth?











A gummy bear

 

What do you call a potato that wears glasses?











A spec-tater

 

Why do ghost like taking elevators?












It lifts their spirits

 

What do you call a penis carved out of a potato?