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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

Archer
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So, the remaining members of the band Rush have a beer, and occasionally these videos pop up. I thought this one was good - Alex by all accounts could have been a comedian if he didn't choose to be a master of the guitar...

 
Darlinboy
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Two economists are walking in the park. The first economist sees a pile of dog turds and says to the other, "I'll pay you $500 to eat those dog turds." So the second economist does, and gets paid $500.

Later on, the second economist sees a pile of dog poop and says to the first, "I'll pay you $500 to eat that pile of dog poop." The first complies, and gets paid $500.

As they continue their walk, the first economist says, "You know, I can't help but feel we both just ate dog shit for nothing."

"Nonsense," says the second economist with a dismissive wave of his hand, "We just contributed $1000 to the overall economy."
 
Omegafanman
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Darlinboy Darlinboy
Two economists are walking in the park. The first economist sees a pile of dog turds and says to the other, "I'll pay you $500 to eat those dog turds." So the second economist does, and gets paid $500.

Later on, the second economist sees a pile of dog poop and says to the first, "I'll pay you $500 to eat that pile of dog poop." The first complies, and gets paid $500.

As they continue their walk, the first economist says, "You know, I can't help but feel we both just ate dog shit for nothing."

"Nonsense," says the second economist with a dismissive wave of his hand, "We just contributed $1000 to the overall economy."

I think a US president once said they only wanted to employ disabled one handed economists.... as all his advisers kept telling them on one hand the impact is this....but on the other hand the impact might be... ;0)
 
Omegafanman
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Have a good one everyone - nearly Xmas booze o'clock time.... Then too brahms and liszt to Post for me for a few days......
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RonJ
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Darlinboy Darlinboy
Two economists are walking in the park. The first economist sees a pile of dog turds and says to the other, "I'll pay you $500 to eat those dog turds." So the second economist does, and gets paid $500.

Later on, the second economist sees a pile of dog poop and says to the first, "I'll pay you $500 to eat that pile of dog poop." The first complies, and gets paid $500.

As they continue their walk, the first economist says, "You know, I can't help but feel we both just ate dog shit for nothing."

"Nonsense," says the second economist with a dismissive wave of his hand, "We just contributed $1000 to the overall economy."

And, both Economists will need to pay income tax on their $500 winnings (since winning $500 is a "taxable event" but paying someone else a $500 bet is not tax deductible). 😲 😀
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mydeafcat
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(Caveat 1: when the term ‘coke bottle’ glasses was coined, my family was the inspiration
Caveat 2: my wife laughed like hell)

Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends?
He’s married.
 
Darlinboy
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Late in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, an overworked elf slumps into a barstool at the neighborhood bar and orders a beer with a shot of schnapps on the side.

"Oh my gosh everyone, look - it's an elf!" the bartender exclaims.

The elf raises an eyebrow and says to the bartender, "You know, that term is considered insensitive and I'll thank you not to use it...

... we prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
 
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