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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

NoName
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Little Red Riding Hood goes for a visit at her grandma's home.
She takes a basket with goods and leaves her home.
She enters the forest and after walking a little bit she sees the wolf behind a bush watching her.
She goes near and ask him:
Wolf,why are your eyes so big?
The wolf replies:
So I can see you better.
And hopes in another bush near there!
The little Red Riding Hood goes near and asks him again:
Why are your ears so big?
And the wolf replies:
So I can hear you better.
And hopes to another bush near.
The little Red Riding Hood goes near again and before asking ,the wolf interupts her and says.
Little Red Riding Hood,will you f*cking let me have a sh*t in peace?
 
JimInOz
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BREAKING NEWS!
The England cricket team has officially beaten the Wuhan Street market for the worst use of a bat ever.
 
lindo
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alam alam
After all, its been the time of vaccines..

😀

I don't get the point.......
 
Omegafanman
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alam alam
After all, its been the time of vaccines..

😀
I am still not immune...... and also from the humour but I think we are all better these days stick on the cracker jokes......

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a reindeer and a kangaroo........ a wooly Christmas jumper.
Edited:
 
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Omegafanman
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Ref Xmas jumpers this is a true story. A policeman I know had to deal with a suicide close to Xmas. There were some unusual circumstances which I can’t share but a person sadly jumped from a building. The policeman was then a representative at what became a very drunken community Xmas party linked to the same building. Loud music was playing and nobody could hear each other very well. A lady started chatting to him about how funny a Christmas jumper was (he was wearing one).... but they ended up at very crossed purposes... the ensuing conversation was hilarious and let’s just say they did not end up dating :0)
 
Canuck
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Omegafanman Omegafanman
Ref Xmas jumpers this is a true story. A policeman I know had to deal with a suicide close to Xmas. There were some unusual circumstances which I can’t share but a person sadly jumped from a building. The policeman was then a representative at what became a very drunken community Xmas party linked to the same building. Loud music was playing and nobody could hear each other very well. A lady started chatting to him about how funny a Christmas jumper was (he was wearing one).... but they ended up at very crossed purposes... the ensuing conversation was hilarious and let’s just say they did not end up dating :0)

Was the jumper wearing a light fall suit?
 
Alex_TA
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Why are cute animals painted on children's clothes?
Kids do not look at the drawings, producers need to write for their parents: 'You will still get enough sleep', 'Do not break down', 'This side toward enemy'.
 
Darlinboy
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Tony walked down to the neighborhood bakery to pick up his favorite treat for New Year's day - shortbread - but was disappointed to find that they were not making it any longer.
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