Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

I guess if you have to explain it, it’s not funny…but come on folks, FFS, tell me you don’t think “WTF is this!” when the holidays come along and the ridiculous perfume commercials start to air!

They always seem pretentious, but tongue firmly in cheek.



Dior seem to be very busy this year.

At least it keeps Johnny Depp in work 😁

It is that wonderfull time of the year...
.

About a week ago one came on TV and my wife and I just looked at each other, and I said "that time of year when the weird perfume commercials come on"...

At least I haven't seen that strange Johnny Depp one from last year...yet...got soooo tired of seeing that one.

This puns for you, @Archer...

Caldwell the butler was cleaning one of the manor bedrooms when the lady of the house unexpectedly came breezing in.

Fixing him with a mesmerizing gaze, the Lady Worthington said "Caldwell, attend me please," motioning him over with a wave of her hand.

As he drew near, she asked in a quiet voice, "Caldwell, please... take off my dress."

Caldwell swallowed hard but, his training fully ingrained, realized his duty to the Lady. Gently, he put his hands on the buttons of her dress and slowly started to undo them, one by one. More and more skin was revealed until finally, her dress slid off and puddled to the floor.

"Now, Caldwell," she commanded, "take off my bra."

With trembling fingers and fumbling for a moment, he unclasped her bra and pulled it off.

"And now, Caldwell, next my panties," she continued "I want you to take them off too."

He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her panties and slowly, ever so slowly, slid them down to the floor on top of her other clothes.

"Thank you, Caldwell," she said cocking her head and setting her arms akimbo. "Now...

... if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

I was doing some decorating so I got the step ladder out.... I never got on with my real ladder...

A MAN went to the doctors suffering from a severe headache for years on end. The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is it will require castration. “You have a rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.” Joe was shocked but he knew he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, and he truly believed he could make a new life. He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need ... a new suit.” He entered the shop and said, “I’d like a new suit.” The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see ... size 44 long.” Joe laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?” “Been in the business 60 years!” the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit; it fit perfectly. The salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?” Joe was on a roll. “Sure.” The salesman said, “Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16 ½ neck.” Joe said, “That’s right, how did you know?” “Been in the business 60 years.” Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?” Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.” The salesman said, “Let’s see ... size 36.” Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you, I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.”The salesman shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache.”....