Community Stories

Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

STANDY
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blufinz52 blufinz52
Malapropisms. I was talking to a neighbor this morning and he was telling me about a disagreement he was having with another neighbor. He said he would be sending a 'cease and exist' letter to them. He was already worked up about his situation and I didn't have the heart to correct him. It made me think of a friend who, while we were discussing something or other, said, "Well, the 'crutch' of the matter..." When I told him is was 'crux', not 'crutch', he got a good laugh at himself over it.

Wonder what malapropisms others have heard people say.

Mrs STANDY

said once “open up a can of arse worms”

instead of “Open up a can of whip arse”

😁😁😁😁

Still laugh to this day every time anyone says “ Opening a can of worms” or “Open up a can of whip arse”
 
MyVintageOmega
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A Foreigner arrives in the Philippines and his Sister in-law asks to see the farm he has had for 15 years while abroad. He said "sure". When they got to the farm he said " here's the Pig I have been feeding for 15 years!". The Sister in-law said "that's not a pig ......it's a Goat". The Foreigner said.............. "I am talking to the Goat"
 
RI Omega Fan
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MyVintageOmega MyVintageOmega
A Foreigner arrives in the Philippines and his Sister in-law asks to see the farm he has had for 15 years while abroad. He said "sure". When they got to the farm he said " here's the Pig I have been feeding for 15 years!". The Sister in-law said "that's not a pig ......it's a Goat". The Foreigner said.............. "I am talking to the Goat"
There is a much dirtier (and IMO better) version of this joke. If you feel like scrolling back through 197 pages, I’m pretty sure you’ll find it.
 
Archer
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STANDY STANDY
Mrs STANDY

said once “open up a can of arse worms”

instead of “Open up a can of whip arse”

😁😁😁😁

Still laugh to this day every time anyone says “ Opening a can of worms” or “Open up a can of whip arse”

You could also have opened a can of whipworms, but I wouldn't recommend it.
 
hmmmcamu
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it took me way longer than it should have to figure out t thats a shower symbol, NOT a DALEK

 
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tad
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Just to keep everyone updated. I've been admitted in to hospital and they are keeping me in, I've only gone and poisoned myself. What I thought was a simple onion turned out to be a daffodil bulb. I'm feeling Ok but they said I won't be out until sometime in the Spring.
 
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