SOCCER I need to vent....badly

michael22

I wasn't bullying, I was just....

I don't think signs would work in my area. People can't even agree what bullying is anymore.

CaptainWinsor

Another update. I like to think of myself as pretty easy going most of the time. When push comes to shove, I’m that Pit Bull who locks on and won’t let go. The parks people will be sending a message to that team and more importantly i contacted the head of that league and was very upset with them. He obviously wasn’t happy with my language but the fact that the coach and parents were on the field really set him off. He had heard what happened but only the ref was totally at fault. He sympathized with me and we spoke for about 45 min on what’s happening and how we can address the ongoing problem of bullying and verbal abuse. Now matter what happens to me, at least I’ve made a little progress

BlackTalon

Thankfully the other team was mostly men of small stature compared to my team, and many of their dozen or so fans were a bit tipsy. There was a threat to get a knife, but my best friend was a security guard and informed the person making the threat that he could quickly escalate an arms race.

Basically it was a clash between a very passionate ethnic team and a bunch of typical white collar DC-area guys. The guys on the other team were intense, and came in hard on many tackles. And since it was not even a competitive league (basically it was league originally set up for coaches to play in), that level of intensity was a bit much for a single ref to cover. And they kept getting frustrated when they lost challenges to the bigger/ taller guys on my team. The tipping point was when a player on the other team tried to kick me in the head, and I caught his leg and held him there while he tried to balance on one leg. That resulted in an immediate red card for that player, which essentially resulted in most of the other team and their fans immediately running at the ref. My part in the whole thing was to keep standing there, holding the guy's leg up in the air so he was immobilized, and I stayed out of the main fracas. Unfortunately the whole episode ended the game, as I imagine the last 15 or so minutes would have been interesting. 😁 The best part is we were up by a goal when the game ended

I'll admit we rarely looked at things on the field through the eyes of a ref. They were a necessary evil, and in several of the leagues I played in over the years it was amazing how many refs there were who were seemingly not very qualified. But as with stainless steel sports Rolexes, it's a supply and demand thing, and the ref supply was fairly low. The good refs got to work with the highest-paying leagues.

wagudc

Did this guy happen to play in your league as well?

Albe100

I can see your frustration, I've seen parents react this way first hand. I played football since a young age and went on to play at a relatively competitive level until age and reality got in the way. I agree that kids need to learn the rules and that it's written, however a straight red to an 10 or 11 year old that doesn't know any better, a bit harsh. Understanding that the referee is 14 years old, perhaps he should be coached himself on how to handle these situations.

Kids need to learn, and officials as well as coaches have a responsibility. A yellow card and an explanation would have been sufficient, and if it happened again, perhaps a dismissal. In the end, I don't think anyone handled the situation properly and it lead to this result.

Having said that, I don't envy you, because referees do take a lot of abuse. If it's not the parents, you'll get it from the players in the later ages. But, being a good official, hard but fair and open with the players, will win you a lot of respect from the players and reduce backlash.

wagudc

It sounds like the league is willing to stand up for what is right, and I am sure they appreciate you telling your side. As a board member for a rec league, I can say that our league appreciates a dialogue. We want what is best for the sport, and of course the referees are an essential part of that.

STANDY

In my younger Rugby days I got 9 weeks for throwing a chair at a touch judge.

Got sent off and the touch judge said sit down idiot. Took offence to being called a idiot. Heat of passion said “ who you calling a idiot, your a frighten Touch judge and your calling me a idiot” threw a chair towards the guy and said “you sit down you idiot”. Crowd loved it 😁
Made a interesting mid week judiciary meeting. (Would have got more had half the judiciary not been at the game and still smirking when I fronted them😗) Got off the original charge for getting sent off 👍

( did try to claim if I didn’t get wrongly sent off the chair may not have been moved slightly 😀 )

BlackTalon

He would have gotten squashed by some of my teammates 😁

Honestly, the most violent league I played in was a co-ed league some 30 years ago. The police regularly came to the field to keep an eye on things, and occasionally haul someone away. But it wasn't the players -- it was the spectators. Some locals would come out and get hammered while spectating, and yell stuff at the girls/ women who were playing (the drunks were trying to pick up the chicks). Inevitably there would be a fight on the sideline between some of the drunk spectators. There would be similar issues at an indoor soccer arena, where they had a large spectator area and served cheap pitchers of beer. The locals would come hang out drinking all day on Saturdays and Sundays, and usually there would be some sort of incident at some point.

For our part, we would go drink with them after our games were over -- even some of the women players. The drunks were pretty entertaining. 😁

gostang9

I do not share your sense of humor. Domestic violence is not funny, ever, no matter how it is discovered. 👎

CaptainWinsor

I have to disagree. The laws of the game are clear and at that level FIFA rules apply. Not giving a red card due to age or knowledge is ridiculous. That’s on the coach. It’s his job to instruct players on rules and conduct. If that’s the case let’s not have any rules. I didn’t know is not a reason to not enforce the rules. The red card was the teaching moment