Somewhere out there a Mr. Dimitar Kostov is being upbraided by his wife for buying a bunch of watches and guns

 

Show up late for your next couple of Dates and then tell her that none of your watches seem to be working

 

When the wife "thought" she had noticed a new watch on my wrist, the conversation went like this...

W: is that a new watch?
Me: No
W: which one is that?
Me: Speedmaster
W: Oh looks different..is that a new strap?
Me: Yes ....

 

What's wrong with the old classic?

"I found it."

 

You still have plenty of options, as you haven't even reached "I got it from my uncle" yet! And if you have more than one uncle...

 

focus on Speedmasters, they all look the same.

 

Amateur. Your wife will now "find" a dozen new purses and two dozen new pairs of shoes. You'll then "find" an outrageous credit card bill.

 

That's the most logical answer for collecting Speedies I've ever heard.

Strike that, it's the ONLY good reason for collecting Speedies.

 

Isn't that an inevitability? I'll just have to fake my death and start over.

Again. With a new watch.

 

Y'all here are a bunch of cold blooded lying geniuses. I'm keeping all reasonable bulletproof explanations mentioned above (alien abduction is too much though). First thing in the morning I'll buy a huge freaking safe and lots of guns for distraction

 

What this one? Oh it's only a cheapy...anyway, do you fancy trying that restaurant you mentioned tonight, im starving!

 

But it was true...

 

Ever consider just taking off your watch any time you are around your mother?

 

Logic really has no place here.

Seriously though, just wear sweaters and dress-shirts.

 

First, it's youze guyz around these parts. Y'all only works from Virginia to Georgia, and as far west as maybe Nebraska. We don't have many members from those states, and since about a third of the moderators are currently residing in the New York / Philadelphia metro area or have spent time here we consider the native tongue of that region to be one of the official languages of ΩFs.

Second, it isn't lying if you really bought a vintage watch. It isn't new, it's used. While it may be omitting some important information, it certainly is NOT lying. Hang out with a lawyer or two for a few months and you'll start to catch on.

 

Maybe.. Just let me live my life @Flingit1200s

 

Just a suggestion Dude. No worries.

 

... and found it this morning in my rectum

 

Just say you traded one, then don't wear it for a while and hope she doesn't notice...

 

That's disgusting--I wouldn't wear/keep something like that.

I'd sell it on eBay.