I don’t understand how someone makes the decision to buy from grey market and yet is angry at an OB for their service level.
Personally, if I expected great service from an OB, I would buy from them and pay the higher price as a result. Alternatively, if I bought from a grey market dealer, I would accept that I would not get top notch service from any OB as I didn’t buy through them.
Also, I would expect service from whoever I bought from. In the OP’s case, keep going back to the grey market seller until it is right. Takes longer? Well, you paid less so should expect less...