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Cyber Etiquette, Please Read

Bill Sohne
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Hello everyone.....

I have been dealing with this issue since started going online many years ago. One of the major disconnects with an on-line community... is lack in personal interaction. The masses seems to "misplace" common manners once behind a keyboard, car or even a telephone.

I think we all have done it in one form or another over the years.... Some are better at self-governing then others, thanks to them....

For the rest of humanity , at least on the OmegaForums it is a hobby for me. I see a lot of banter on the forums... I don't care for it much, that is my personal preference. It just like a buffet, the stuff you like you can consume more and the stuff you don't like you do not have to consume....

Then you have members here " get into it" in a funny way like Dennis and others... Which is fine ... But then somewhere a blurry line is crossed.... Personal attacks ... and even email assaults.

This now turns a fun hobby to a not so fun hobby and people getting upset... bad feelings and really not nice stuff. Things also might escalate .


With the above in mind I try to use a few rules of thumb...

I know you have heard this before....

#1 " does my post or reply add value ?" or will it just escalate a problem....


#2 " how would you feel reading the post or reply if it was addressed to you ?"


So the questions for others on the forum....

How do you be a good neighbor, member aka human being ?

Good Hunting

Bill Sohne
 
Tony C.
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Louis CK (yes, yes, I know...) did an excellent, short riff on this topic (NSFW):

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gostang9
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Your points are well taken, I wonder though if 'bullying' is the right word for what you're pointing out...?

Are there not several dimensions or levels of 'cyber-aggression'?
1. actual 'bullying' is very rare, and is usually done by someone in a position of (perceived) dominance belittling someone else with a strong desire to gain some advantage by belittling/insulting the other person.
2. one person says something somewhat aggressively to make a point and it is taken as rude/offensive by someone else. The level of intended aggression by the writer is less than the offense taken by the reader.
2. one persons 'norm' is seen as offensive by someone else's different 'norm' (ie: one member innocently writes 'fakkk my boots' with a chuckle, another member is deeply offended by the implied vulgarity)
 
Wetworks
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As with most things nowadays, social media and the Internet have made a very simple topic overly complicated; it's really simple. First off, none of us are as special as we may believe, and secondly (and most importantly), don't be an asshole in life. Both manage to serve me well.
 
cimo
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Hi Bill,

You make some astute points. I think on the internet it is easy to forget there is another person on the other end.

I teach high school and we begin reinforcing that message--that the person on the other end is just like you--in middle school.

In a community of "regulars," it becomes even more natural to be standoffish towards outsiders/newcomers. Especially in regard to a topic where we all want to be "right" and not "wrong" about things which are rarely black and white regarding a field in which few of us are experienced professionals.

So, I guess I should get to the point. In essence, I think the internet would be a better place if we all exercised a sense of humility.
 
lillatroll
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I think one thing veteran members could do is to ignore posting negative responses to first time posters who ask the same questions that are seen on a regular basis, with irritation and harshness. I understand that seeing a post that asks for someone else to do their homework for them get tiresome but why not just ignore it and not post anything?
A response along the lines of take the case back off and Google the refrence number/ look at ebay sales to check previous prices etc will be more constructive and create a better impression of our community.
 
U
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Teasing and hazing are vastly different, and usually considered much less harsh, than bullying.

..... unless you're one of those special snowflakes, in which case report to human resources to be given your participation trophy and processed out of Omega Forums.

lillatroll lillatroll
I think one thing veteran members could do is to ignore posting negative responses to first time posters who ask the same questions that are seen on a regular basis, with irritation and harshness. I understand that seeing a post that asks for someone else to do their homework for them get tiresome but why not just ignore it and not post anything?
A response along the lines of take the case back off and Google the refrence number/ look at ebay sales to check previous prices etc will be more constructive and create a better impression of our community.

Some people don't know they're lazy, or assholes, or asking for something they shouldn't. Personally, I believe they NEED to be told. It may not go well, but many of them WILL remember and not behave the same way again. Mission accomplished!
 
gostang9
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U ulackfocus
Teasing and hazing are vastly different, and usually considered much less harsh, than bullying.
I agree with this. Teasing and hazing are usually done as back-and-forth where parties treat each other as equals and everyone can participate equally at some point or on some level. It is not intended to show dominance or degrade someone.

U ulackfocus
Some people don't know they're lazy, or assholes, or asking for something they shouldn't. Personally, I believe they NEED to be told. It may not go well, but many of them WILL remember and not behave the same way again. Mission accomplished!
My gut reaction is to disagree with this mindset, but I've noticed the following:
- some OP's respond to harsh reactions by acknowledging their bad judgement, and these people tend to stick around and sometimes bring value later
- some OP's get defensive and nasty, and these usually burn brightly for a short period before flaming out, never to return
- many OP's don't respond or minimally, and are never seen or heard from again

So, while the harsh approach isn't my natural style or preference, I have witnessed how it seems to 'separate the wheat from the chaff' rather quickly and maybe effectively...?
 
Larry S
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Honestly I find the “hazing” here generally good natured and appreciate the humorous thread hijacking. Overall OF is a pleasant place to be.
 
U
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gostang9 gostang9
So, while the harsh approach isn't my natural style or preference, I have witnessed how it seems to 'separate the wheat from the chaff' rather quickly and maybe effectively...?

Bingo.
 
Bill Sohne
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U ulackfocus
Bingo.

I have seen forums w that take they are closed and very clickie ...

How about you point the OP to a FAQ THAT DENNIS edits . ?? Maybe not hahah.....( the forum might have one already )

Hey Dennis what would your faq look like ?



Best

Bill
 
Bill Sohne
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gostang9 gostang9
Your points are well taken, I wonder though if 'bullying' is the right word for what you're pointing out...?

Are there not several dimensions or levels of 'cyber-aggression'?
1. actual 'bullying' is very rare, and is usually done by someone in a position of (perceived) dominance belittling someone else with a strong desire to gain some advantage by belittling/insulting the other person.
2. one person says something somewhat aggressively to make a point and it is taken as rude/offensive by someone else. The level of intended aggression by the writer is less than the offense taken by the reader.
2. one persons 'norm' is seen as offensive by someone else's different 'norm' (ie: one member innocently writes 'fakkk my boots' with a chuckle, another member is deeply offended by the implied vulgarity)

Hi
I think your correct it is a sliding scale....

Mostly we are on the personal attack level and name calling ....

Ok I how about how not to be rude ? Or how to participate in a global village ...

Just hard to type w one hand .... these dayS

Best

Bill
 
U
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Bill Sohne Bill Sohne
Hey Dennis what would your faq look like ?

Probably a lot like the instructions already posted here:

https://omegaforums.net/threads/vintage-omega-posting-guide.383/

Particularly this one:

https://omegaforums.net/threads/for-the-new-members-read.23288/

.... where Mike says:

"Do not abuse the privilege of membership here – ask because you are curious and enjoy the fellowship and not because you want to make a quick buck. Do some of the research first. Post good photos. And once you learn something, give something back in return."

Which boils down to my much more direct and less tactful "do your own damn homework because we aren't your lackeys."
 
MMMD
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Bill Sohne Bill Sohne
...Hey Dennis what would your faq look like?...

I suspect the title would look like this:

FAQs (F***ING A**HOLE QUESTIONS)
 
U
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MMMD MMMD
I suspect the title would look like this:

FAQs (F***ING A**HOLE QUESTIONS)

Oh, I am TOTALLY using that in the future. We'll negotiate over royalties via PM.
 
Bill Sohne
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U ulackfocus
Probably a lot like the instructions already posted here:

https://omegaforums.net/threads/vintage-omega-posting-guide.383/

Particularly this one:

https://omegaforums.net/threads/for-the-new-members-read.23288/

.... where Mike says:

"Do not abuse the privilege of membership here – ask because you are curious and enjoy the fellowship and not because you want to make a quick buck. Do some of the research first. Post good photos. And once you learn something, give something back in return."

Which boils down to my much more direct and less tactful "do your own damn homework because we aren't your lackeys."
Ok Dennis @ulackfocus here is your challenge to be an faq ambassador! Use mike post as the first line of defense ..... and like the new user consume that first. .....

Great work Dennis ! Might not be as entertaining....

Best
Bill
Edited:
 
Bill Sohne
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MMMD MMMD
I suspect the title would look like this:

FAQs (F***ING A**HOLE QUESTIONS)
Augh , no .... your just feeding him ...

Bill
 
nonuffinkbloke
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gostang9 gostang9
(ie: one member innocently writes 'fakkk my boots' with a chuckle, another member is deeply offended by the implied vulgarity)

I'll help you out with this one @gostang9.😀 There is no implied vulgarity. It's not a request or recommendation!😁

It's just an English, slang exclamation of suprise that we use in London, UK. Our everyday use of English, slang (particularly in Working class circles) varies, depending on the location. We also use a number of expressions, that are of military origin.

An example of this is the one that you partly quoted: My Father's Sergeant Major, in The Royal Horse Guards, used "Fakk my old boots!" to express suprise. No doubt the commanding officer would have chosen something like "Good Lord!"

We deliberately mispronounce the potentially, offensive word in order to soften it from the standard profanity (which you will never see written in any of my posts). My Irish relatives do a similar thing with the word 'fekk'.😟

If I used these these 'expressions', and someone was offended, I would quickly offer an apology. I like a bit of banter, but would never want to offend other members.😀

I suppose it's easy for us, in England, to forget that our language is used internationally and as a second language. That being the case, other forum members may, at times, misunderstand things and take offence. We've spent 2000 years, over here on the British Isles, developing the wonderful, expressive, English language, and this includes it's rich, vibrant, vernacular expressions!😁
Edited:
 
Jonatan
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Bill, I totally agree with you that sometimes, similar to everyday life, some discussions intensify and get a little heated but I have found that the mods are usually quick to pick up on this and shut things down if nothing useful is coming of it.

I have only been a witness to one bullying attempt which was against MeganFox. As I was a witness I called it out ASAP because I don't stand for that kind of childish immature and offensive behaviour. I hope that everyone here would do the same.

On the other hand, I really like it when members call out others. I think the Squirrel, The Lizard and The Longhorn from the Lone Star State and others aren't afraid to call people out and I appreciate it. I also fell like things have calmed down in the last year or so. I remember a time when if you didn't have a profile picture you would be told pretty quickly and forget about getting an answer to your question.

In other words, I think we are getting a little soft...

I'm all for a good heated argument and getting a beer after. I hate soft people that get offended by the slightest comment or question and fell attacked all the time. To me, that's a sign that something is wrong and perhaps that person is hiding something.
 
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