"Corporate Speak': please share examples

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Garv

·Mar 17, 2016

I haven't heard one thing about under promising and over delivering, exceeding expectations, or unique value propositions. How can we succeed without them?

 

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GregH

·Mar 17, 2016

"Monetize"

 

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Jminchoi

·Mar 17, 2016

oddboy

@jminchoi, you need an avatar!

Threw one up of my Speedy for you. 😉

 

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Huus

·Mar 17, 2016

oddboy

Oh, and here's the random pic of a watch.

Thanks heavens for that. At least some normality here.

 

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Andy K

·Mar 17, 2016

I'm a Corporate America HR cog and as such am fluent in biz-speak. "Synergy " is a word that is never used anymore. It's all about "harmonization" now.

 

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oddboy

·Mar 17, 2016

Andy K

I'm a Corporate America HR cog and as such am fluent in biz-speak. "Synergy " is a word that is never used anymore. It's all about "harmonization" now.

I am going to make an effort to check out the watches my 'HR Business Partners' are wearing from now on!

 

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Taddyangle

·Mar 17, 2016

Safe Space. Or am I on the wrong thread?

 

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Andy K

·Mar 17, 2016

oddboy

I am going to make an effort to check out the watches my 'HR Business Partners' are wearing from now on!

5 years ago nobody said "HR Business Partner", and now it's so common we just say HRBP and expect everyone to know what we're referring to.

 

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Jones in LA

·Mar 17, 2016·Not in LA anymore.

I suggest we drill down to better understand the finer points of corporate speak.

 

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ahartfie

·Mar 17, 2016·The black sheep in the Spee-ee-eee-eedmaster flock

Severin

"At the end of the day, I look forward to further engagement and dialogue with the stakeholder community and to leveraging our collective capabilities so as to realize synergies in view of effecting game changing, win-win solutions - both now and on a going-forward basis".

Fixed.

I work for a 1500-employee company owned by a 50,000-employee company. I do have customized buzzword bingo cards and have used them. Not an email goes by without an alphabet soup of TLAs (three-letter acronyms) in them.

 

U

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ulackfocus

·Mar 17, 2016

I simultaneously hate this thread and love this thread.

Luckily, I work at a company that uses regular American English and primarily sells American made products.

 

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oddboy

·Mar 17, 2016

Jones in LA

I suggest we drill down to better understand the finer points of corporate speak.

Please, elaborate.

 

U

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ulackfocus

·Mar 17, 2016

Come to think of it, my immediate supervisor is the General Manager and part owner. I haven't actually counted, but I'm pretty sure he's dropped the f-bomb more often in my 7+ years (not in front of customers) than all my other supervisors combined over the other 17 years at other companies. I enjoy being able to say "WTF?" to other guys (again, not customers) without repercussion.

 

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Severin

·Mar 17, 2016

The phenomenon is not unique to the corporate world. Good examples also abound in academia (a la "contested grounds: negotiating and renegotiating agency amidst ontological frisson - a Leninist perspective vis a vis Seinfeld seasons 1 - 3") science, humanities and art. Will share some good and real examples when I get the chance. In the meantime, thanks again for the indulgence.

 

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destroid

·Mar 17, 2016

It's not a merger, it's "convergence"

 

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1685

·Mar 17, 2016

oddboy

I am go make an effort to check out the watches my 'HR Business Partners' are wearing from now on!

Ours all wear Rolex, Tag, JLC (our well located Zurich HRBPs) and 95% are women.

 

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Severin

·Mar 17, 2016

P.s. Can someone please explain the term "price point" to me? As in, "lovely wine...and at such a great price point!". Perhaps it is English as a second language working against me, but I've wondered whether the word "point" distinguishes it somehow from the more basic meaning of the word "price" used on its own.

 

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Andy K

·Mar 17, 2016

destroid

It's not a merger, it's "convergence"

And divestitures are now "bifurcations".

 

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gatorcpa

·Mar 17, 2016·ΩF InvestiGator

Severin

P.s. Can someone please explain the term "price point" to me?

A generic term that refers to price. For example, almost every car company that sells in the US has a 4-door sedan priced around $30K. Some a little more, some a little less.

For this type of vehicle, $30K is your "price point".

Hope this helps,
gatorcpa

 

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Emeister

·Mar 17, 2016

abrod520

I think the best corporate-speak had to come from the '90s:

" Synergy. "

I'm pretty sure the mere mention of "corporate synergy" nowadays is enough to have people jumping off the roof.

Late Nineties I worked alongside a 'company' who set themselves up and called themselves "Synovate".
8 to 10 (highly paid) Department heads (without departments yet) sitting around an oval table in an open plan office (in Mayfair 😲) 9-5 Mon to Fri.
Their sole purpose was to come up with a business idea that matched their ground-breaking name. 🤨
Best/only thing I saw them come up with was the handing out of pocket sized pads;
just in case this breakthrough idea came to them outside M-F 9-5. 😵‍💫

Couple of decent blokes in that team, that I worked with previously.
Don't think I need to check if anything came of that company 😗

If you're here. Hi! 😬
😉