Be careful out there

[calalum]

Just finished a shocking day during which I learned that my cousin, a young man, somewhat troubled but super gentle and sweet, and very bright, with an engineering degree from a very prominent local university, was shot and killed by the police a couple of days ago. Not looking for sympathy, but just sharing and making a public service announcement to be careful out there. I called my son and told him if he’s ever stopped by the police or interacting with them, just to hold his hands in the air with his palms and fingers open. No real explanation for what happened yet, although the police claim that my cousin was threatening them with a stick. Ultimately, I imagine we will see the body camera footage, but that will not change things. Thanks for indulging me.

 

[pdxleaf]

Thank you for sharing. This was likely difficult to write. Terrible to read. Very sorry for your family.

 

[timjohn]

"threatening them with a stick"? I really don't know what to say beyond extending my heatfelt sympathy to you and your family.

 

[TDBK]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have loved ones with emotional regulation challenges and I'm scared every day about the possibility of a police encounter which goes wrong.

Was this in LA? I found an article which conveniently switches to the passive voice: "When confronted by officers, a shooting broke out and the man was shot.", as if the shooting happened on its own with no volition of the officers.

 

[Radiumpassion]

That is terrible. Sorry for your loss.

 

[CBM1590]

I’m very sorry for your loss. Lean on us if you need us. Hang in there.

 

[easygoinguk]

Shedding a tear reading this. My deepest condolences to you & your family.

 

[X350 XJR]

Absolutely heartbreaking.

As someone who battles mental health issues of my own (suicidal ideation among them) I have heard far too often from others in my community of unpleasant interactions with law enforcement, the people who are supposed to protect us end up hurting us instead. Unfortunately use of force is often easier than deescalation, too often with tragic outcomes.

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Jones in LA]

I heard about that incident on a local news broadcast and wondered immediately how a threat with a stick somewhere 'near skid row' could have escalated to a lethal response by police. It just seemed like there must be multiple non-lethal options available to law enforcement officers dispatched to that particular area. I'm very sorry to hear that this involved your cousin.

 

[calalum]

All-Thanks for the kind words. We have some more detail as to what happened, and it is not pretty. The police have now reported that my cousin was threatening someone while holding a plastic fork. The police spokesman quote: "Any object can cause harm, depending on how it's used." A more rational note, per a news article, the police chief said he had "'concerns' after reviewing body-worn camera footage that showed a city police officer shooting and killing a man who charged at him while holding a plastic fork." And not that it matters, but my cousin has a baby face and looks like a surfer dude, blond hair, tan, etc.

 

[Davidt]

Sorry to hear of such a needless loss of life. Condolences to you and the family.

 

[watchyouwant]

And that's exactly the reason, that I will never spend my tourist $$$ in the USA again ...

 

[Larry S]

So sorry for your loss. A tragic error. Not gonna politicize this.

 

[wrist time]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what it must fell like to lose someone so unnecessarily.

Some unsolicited advice, maybe your family should consider using social media to bring more attention to this. Unfortunately in the US sometimes public pressure can be the only way to get the full story of what happened.
The fact they first said he was threatening them with a stick only to later say it was just a plastic fork feels dubious. In PR it's said the correction/second story gets less attention. This article is about the disturbing ways police departments use PR firms. https://theappeal.org/cole-pro-media-police-pr/

 

[krogerfoot]

My family has endured a lot of upheaval with the intersection of mental illness, addiction, and resulting run-ins with the police. The fear that it will end up this way is always in mind. I’m very sorry for what you’re going through and hope you eventually find answers and a measure of peace.

 

[EuroDriver]

I'm very sorry for your loss. It seems that many law enforcement officers are more paranoid now than most citizens and they can't be blamed. The world has gone berserk and police officers get to see the worst of it on a constant basis. Of course, their actions are not always justified and they get to go home while someone else won't.

calalum

I called my son and told him if he’s ever stopped by the police or interacting with them, just to hold his hands in the air with his palms and fingers open.

Hands in the air feels unnatural and makes oneself feel like you're drawing attention and in a moment of lapse, we inadvertently rush to put them down and as this experience tragically shows, a brisk movement it can lead to deadly consequences in a police encounter.

A technique that I have been taught during an encounter with law enforcement is to interlock your fingers and put your palms against your chest. This puts officers at ease while not drawing the attention of bystanders. Keep them there until instructed otherwise, and once mistrust has dissipated, announce your movements and carry them out in slow motion.

Hope this can help save a life.

Edited: Feb 8, 2024

 

[Archer]

EuroDriver

This puts officers at ease while not drawing the attention of bystanders.

I would want to have all the bystanders around as aware of what was going on as possible...and filming it...

 

[hen]

This is just tragic, sorry for your loss. Are the bodycam footage released?

 

[calalum]

We don't have it yet but at some point we will (even if we need to hire a lawyer to get it). I don't think they make it public. The police chief saw it and was apparently not happy.

 

[Waltesefalcon]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.