Where The fυck Has Norman Been?

I do not think you are alone. I often feel the same way.

Last fall we lost our dog. Hardest thing ever.

For all the TMI I share here there are things I have not done so. I sometimes think I should drop a note in the MH we should talk about it.

Suffice to say I came to know death early. When I was around 6 years old two of my brothers died. They were younger than me at three and 4 years of age. Nothing will ever be as worse as 1966/1967 was. My parents had more children. My sister died when I was in High school. My remaining brother who is 10 years younger and I do not get along. We probably have no confidence the other will be around when needed.

My parents on the other hand, are still here. I now live with them. They are in their late 80s early 90s. There is also the potential for long life in my family. Seems like we either die young or die old. My father has a sister who is 98 mom has an aunt who is 104 and will be 105.

Not sure what scares me more. I could have another 30 years. And no real support as I never had a family myself. There are too many interesting things in this world. I have projects enough for 500 years. Although I tend to go hot and cold on them. I can set things asside for decades.

When my sister was diagnosed with leukemia my parents did what @watchyouwant suggested. Why I decided to reply to this thread. They sold the house and bought this one. My Dad's work while stressful, may have helped. He was a social worker who worked with abused and neglected children. Being father and grandfather to 100s.

He himself grew up without a father. Born in the worst part of Oklahoma in the worst year of the depression. His father died in a home where there was not great care and people were not treated well at all. There were 6 children and my grandfather could not cope with the stress. The official cause of death was a burst appendix. There are family rumors that he attempted to take his own life. Some of my cousins have bought into the hereditary thing and have made cries for help themselves. It is a hard burden to have to live with.

The amusing thing, Why I like Snoopy and watches so much. Was when my second brother died months after the first of accidental death (crushed by a car on the street in front of the house.) We dropped everything and took a trip to visit relations. As I said I was 6 and in first grade. We were supposed to learn how to tell time in the last two months of school. I never learned how to read a clock face, till I got to high school. Snoopy on the other hand on that trip taught me to read. When I got back into school by third grade I was reading at a college graduate level (according to the testing.) I loved Victorian lit, still do Jane Austen, the Bronte's Dickens, I read them all. They had pictures.

Still can not add or multiply numbers, which greatly limited what I could do as far as jobs are concerned. Most unskilled work require basic mathematical skills. I got into computers, because teachers thought the computers could drill me in the basic skills. Instead I found I had inherent skill for the abstract thinking programming requires.

There is more I could write, but I tend to share too much information as it is.

As I said in the other thread small things can have great effects.

Keep talking man! Not much I can say, but I'm listening, and we're all here for you!

It’s always darkest before the dawn

ok perhaps not the best response.

for me the reminding myself I have stupid hobbies I can afford, live in paradise, and I am reasonably healthy means I truly have it better then most.

when it’s the darkest I find volunteering makes me feel better.