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Wryfox
·
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
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ConElPueblo
·
Tell me more about this peach thing and how the Americans are placing politicians in one. I for one would be interested in this technology 😁
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vitriol
·Tell me more about this peach thing and how the Americans are placing politicians in one. I for one would be interested in this technology 😁
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- 9,234
BlackTalon
··This Space for RentI live on the edge of DC and all is peachy here right now 😁
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Wryfox
·Some employers are banning the phrase "Ok, Boomer", considering it discrimination.
Here are some fun alternatives to stay ahead of HR:
"Okey Dokey, about to croakey"
"10-4, Dinosaur"
"Very well, old-as-hell"
"Fine with me, elderly"
Here are some fun alternatives to stay ahead of HR:
"Okey Dokey, about to croakey"
"10-4, Dinosaur"
"Very well, old-as-hell"
"Fine with me, elderly"
Edited:
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Mad Dog
·Q: What do you do if you see a spaceman?
A: Park the car.
NOTE: I was told this joke last week at the local VA medical center [which has severe parking problems] by a U.S. Army veteran.
A: Park the car.
NOTE: I was told this joke last week at the local VA medical center [which has severe parking problems] by a U.S. Army veteran.
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BDHD
·I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised
She looked surprised
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bags1971
·
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Wryfox
·Upping the ante......
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miramogge
·I was invited to a feminist picnic the other day. It was nice but nobody had made any sandwiches
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03Hemi
·...and on that note.
![c7225cc1221f4fc0bd271d916e3fd5db[1].jpg](https://omegaforums.net/data/attachments/919/919951-778602fe2bd6139b6a9d97a2e03928de.jpg?hash=d4YC_ivWE5 "c7225cc1221f4fc0bd271d916e3fd5db[1].jpg")
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03Hemi
·
- Posts
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- 602
03Hemi
·
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- 602
03Hemi
·
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Mad Cow
·“My new girlfriend is an anesthesiologist,” the man told his buddy.
“Oh, is she a local girl?” his buddy asked.
“Oh, is she a local girl?” his buddy asked.
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DaveK
··Yoda of YodelersCouldn’t think of anything, had to go to Siri 👍
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Mad Cow
·Arrived at my office this morning and found someone had left a can of Play-Doh on my desk...
I don’t quite know what to make of it.
I don’t quite know what to make of it.
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Socks
·Sorry if this offends...
In the late 50’s, British & German industry in the interests of detente, instigated exchange programmes to share good engineering practice, knowledge and friendship. So Jurgen found himself at a steelworks in Sheffield being shown round by his British foreman counterpart, Bill.
Bill proudly took him to the furnaces. “Jurgen” said Bill! “Our new electric arc furnace can produce 200 tonnes of molten steel in 2 hours” “Akk! This is nothing!” Said Jurgen. “In my county we have furnaces that produce 400 tonnes in 1 hour... nothing!
They move onto the casting hall. “Here Jurgen” Bill proclaims “we can cast 6, 20 tonne billets from a single vessel.!” Jurgen is unimpressed “Akk! Nothing! We have vessels that can hold twice as much, and pour far quicker than this!”
Onto the rolling mill... and Bill was getting pissed off with Jurgen. “Here Jurgen, we can roll a single billet of steel down into plates or beams within a single shift” “Akkhh! In my country” Jurgen scoffs, “we have multiple mills that can produce different products at the same time! This is nothing!”
In the canteen after the tour, Bill got them both a cup of tea and they sat down to compare experiences. “Well Jurgen, you talk about superior German engineering... but I visited Germany a few years ago, and I used a piece of kit that could shift 1500 tonnes of steelwork in 30 seconds!”
“Mein Gott” exclaimed Jurgen, “what fantastic equipment were you using?”
Bill got up to leave... “I was in a fυcking Lancaster!!!”
In the late 50’s, British & German industry in the interests of detente, instigated exchange programmes to share good engineering practice, knowledge and friendship. So Jurgen found himself at a steelworks in Sheffield being shown round by his British foreman counterpart, Bill.
Bill proudly took him to the furnaces. “Jurgen” said Bill! “Our new electric arc furnace can produce 200 tonnes of molten steel in 2 hours” “Akk! This is nothing!” Said Jurgen. “In my county we have furnaces that produce 400 tonnes in 1 hour... nothing!
They move onto the casting hall. “Here Jurgen” Bill proclaims “we can cast 6, 20 tonne billets from a single vessel.!” Jurgen is unimpressed “Akk! Nothing! We have vessels that can hold twice as much, and pour far quicker than this!”
Onto the rolling mill... and Bill was getting pissed off with Jurgen. “Here Jurgen, we can roll a single billet of steel down into plates or beams within a single shift” “Akkhh! In my country” Jurgen scoffs, “we have multiple mills that can produce different products at the same time! This is nothing!”
In the canteen after the tour, Bill got them both a cup of tea and they sat down to compare experiences. “Well Jurgen, you talk about superior German engineering... but I visited Germany a few years ago, and I used a piece of kit that could shift 1500 tonnes of steelwork in 30 seconds!”
“Mein Gott” exclaimed Jurgen, “what fantastic equipment were you using?”
Bill got up to leave... “I was in a fυcking Lancaster!!!”
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