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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

Nachman
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Greetings

I think I discovered the reason why many of gentlemen like us are appreciated by the nice timepiece like Omega Speedmaster Professional.

Other passionated, patronage, and connoisseur: It was a Moonwatch...a watch with great movement...a watch with in the hands of veterans NASA...et cetera.

Me: looking at 12 o'clock.
 
Zuke
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I apologize in advance if this has already been posted.

 
Pun
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Mrs. Smith found her husband hanging in his bedroom this morning.

There was a note on his bed which read, "I can't take the critism anymore."

Mrs. Smith quickly cut him down and managed to revive him.

As Mr. Smith lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes,

she said, " That's not how you spell criticism ."
 
Pun
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Just saw this interesting humor and shared with you
 
Screenshot_20200215_152719.jpg
redpcar
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Pun Pun
Just saw this interesting humor and shared with you

I give up. 😵‍💫
 
Pun
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redpcar redpcar
I give up. 😵‍💫
Apparently she saw a ghost, therefore, her image is reflected in the mirror!
 
Pun
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Lurk41 Lurk41
I'd say vampire
That's okay, it's your privilege Sir, Wherever DNA matches better 😉
Edited:
 
M
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Hahaha nice one !!!
pseikotick pseikotick
A bonus joke that I created all by myself while reading another thread this morning. Ahem.


A customer walks into the watch repair shop to find an old man with a loupe in one eye examining a watch and shaking his head slowly.

"What's wrong, Sam?" Asks the customer.

"Don't ask." replies the veteran watchmaker. "It's complicated."

::rimshot::
 
jsducote
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Down in the bayou, the sheriff heard about a dog fighting ring being run in his parish so he sent an undercover officer to check it out. A week later the officer came back to file his report:
"It's a pretty big operation. The cajuns, Texas Aggies, and the mafia are all in on it."

The sheriff, perplexed that all these groups got together right in his backyard, asked how he knew there were cajuns involved:
"Well, someone was dumb enough to enter a DUCK into the dog fight."

The sheriff then asked how he knew there were Aggies:
"Well, someone was dumb enough to bet on the duck."

The sheriff then asked how he knew the mafia was involved:
"Wouldn't you know it, the duck WON"
 
NYCwatchgal
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From kid presidential expert Macey Hensley (8 years-old at the time) on Ellen:

What do you call George Washington's false teeth?
- Presidentures

What is Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?
- Barack-oli

::rimshot::
 
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