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hen
·The difference between the great depression and today?
You didn`t need to have two jobs and a degree to be poor back then.
You didn`t need to have two jobs and a degree to be poor back then.
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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Wryfox
·
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jsducote
·
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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hen
·
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Pun
·What did the egg say to the boiling water?
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I don’t wanna get hard, I just got laid this morning 😜
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I don’t wanna get hard, I just got laid this morning 😜
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hen
·
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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JimInOz
··Melbourne Australia
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hen
·
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Pastorbottle
·
Such intimacy should be shared in a caring relationship one would expect, anything else would be brutal!
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jsducote
·
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jsducote
·
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hen
·
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Wryfox
·Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all of her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
The first engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all of her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
The first engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
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Wryfox
·A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
The priest said, “Here comes the green keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The green keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight, saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
The priest said, “Here comes the green keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
The green keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight, saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
Edited:
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Wryfox
·An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. They spot a buck, and each takes turns trying to bag it. The physicist goes first. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the bullet’s trajectory, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum.
The bullet falls 20m short of the deer.
The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineer’s pad and book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes, he’s ready, aims, and fires.
The bullet lands 20m past the deer.
The statistician leaps in the air, shouting, “We got it!”
The bullet falls 20m short of the deer.
The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineer’s pad and book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes, he’s ready, aims, and fires.
The bullet lands 20m past the deer.
The statistician leaps in the air, shouting, “We got it!”
Edited:
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Wryfox
·A man is walking in a field when he notices a guy adrift in a hot-air balloon with no fuel. Balloon guy shouts down, “A little help here?”
The man on the ground looks up and shouts, “You are in a hot-air balloon with no fuel. You’re about 20 feet off the ground, travelling north at roughly walking pace.”
The guy in the balloon shouts, “Are you an engineer?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“Well, everything you told me is factually accurate, but it doesn’t do me any good.”
The engineer on the ground considers this and then shouts back, “Are you in management?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“You were in this predicament before I got here. I haven’t done anything, and now it’s my fault.”
The man on the ground looks up and shouts, “You are in a hot-air balloon with no fuel. You’re about 20 feet off the ground, travelling north at roughly walking pace.”
The guy in the balloon shouts, “Are you an engineer?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“Well, everything you told me is factually accurate, but it doesn’t do me any good.”
The engineer on the ground considers this and then shouts back, “Are you in management?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“You were in this predicament before I got here. I haven’t done anything, and now it’s my fault.”