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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
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M'Bob
·
Interesting, because when many of my female friends ask where they should get their hair done, I always say, “Ah, Blow Me. You won’t be disappointed.”
In turn, they suggest I go here:
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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M'Bob
·
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Archer
··Omega Qualified WatchmakerThought this was pretty funny...
Maybe a little sad too...mostly because it makes me feel old...
Maybe a little sad too...mostly because it makes me feel old...
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Wryfox
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Wryfox
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gbesq
·This one will probably only appeal to our attorney OF members, but here goes. Three professionals - an accountant, an engineer and a lawyer - all dog lovers, are hanging out together at the home of the accountant with their dogs in tow. The conversation gets around to dogs and each professional is eager to brag that his dog is the best. The accountant begins by dumping out a huge barrel of dog biscuits on the floor. He summons his dog and gives the following command: "Debit! Count!" Debit quickly, efficiently and methodically stacks the strewn pile of dog biscuits into numerous columns of 10 biscuits each. The engineer, suitably impressed, says "That's great, but my dog can beat that." He summons his dog and gives the following command: "Sliderule! Build!" Sliderule takes the columns of dog biscuits and transforms them into a beautiful model of a suspension bridge that spans the room. The accountant is amazed. The lawyer, jaded, says to the other two: "Your dogs are amateurs. Watch this." He summons his dog and gives the following command: "Contingency! Litigate!" Into the room runs a fat, panting slobbering mess of a dog, knocks down the suspension bridge, f***ks the other two dogs, and eats 1/3 of the biscuits.
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Longbow
·Warning: Dad Joke
Citroën have today announced a new version of their popular Jumper van for the French Police
Citroën have today announced a new version of their popular Jumper van for the French Police
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Wryfox
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Wryfox
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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M'Bob
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Wryfox
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Wryfox
·Although Busch Light is pretty much soda...😜
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!Tony sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili...
The waitress says, "I'm sorry sir, but the guy next to you got the last bowl".
He looks over and sees that the other customer has finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still brimming full.
So Tony asks, "Hey, are you going to eat that chili? Because if not, I'd really like to have it."
The guy says, "No. Help yourself".
Tony slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse. He immediately gags, then pukes all the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too!"
The waitress says, "I'm sorry sir, but the guy next to you got the last bowl".
He looks over and sees that the other customer has finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still brimming full.
So Tony asks, "Hey, are you going to eat that chili? Because if not, I'd really like to have it."
The guy says, "No. Help yourself".
Tony slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse. He immediately gags, then pukes all the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too!"
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M'Bob
·Tony sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili...
The waitress says, "I'm sorry sir, but the guy next to you got the last bowl".
He looks over and sees that the other customer has finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still brimming full.
So Tony asks, "Hey, are you going to eat that chili? Because if not, I'd really like to have it."
The guy says, "No. Help yourself".
Tony slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about half way down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse. He immediately gags, then pukes all the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too!"
Fun read during lunch!
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