My wife marvels at the amount of poop jokes thrown around when my brother comes to town. Who doesn’t love poop jokes?!?!

 

Most poop jokes are crappy

 

Your attitude stinks!

 

Some people say “poop” jokes are in bad taste. I think they are in excrement taste!

 

Well, you are an absolute nightmerde to be around

 

I asked the hot girl at the bar where she lived. She replied:

 

I think Jenni Elle gets the prize for the best tongue in cheek review (and some good serious commentary as well)
...I think Uranus is beautiful.....I would like Uranus on my wrist :0).
.

 

I got a dirty joke. A horse fell in a mud puddle.

 

Not as funny as this one. A picture of a white horse eating marshmallows in a whiteout (snow storm)!

 

I meant to say a white horse!

 

For a funny joke.........why the long face :0)

 

A bartender had noticed that one of his new customers, an older gentleman, would always come in, order three beers at the same time, and then go off quietly and drink them all at a table alone. At his next visit, the bartender struck up a conversion with his new client.

“What’ll it be, the usual? Three lagers?”

“Yes please, that’d be great.” The older man responded.

“I have to ask,” the bartender continued, “why is it that you order three beers at once? I’m happy to bring them out to you one at a time if you prefer.”

“Oh!” the man responded with a chuckle, “it must seem strange to order all three together but it’s a bit of tradition. You see, two of my best mates and I always order three beers when we each go out to the bar. We’re old war buddies, and since we live in different parts of the world, having three beers at once makes it feel like we’re all having a pint together. Our pact has been to honor this tradition as long as we’re all still walking this earth!”

“Ah, that’s a very nice idea” the barman responded, “I’m happy to oblige! Coming right up…”

The barman went and poured three pints of his finest, and did so on the regular every time the man walked in. One dreary rainy spring day, the man walked in, his steps and demeanor a bit heavier than usual.

“Good day sir, the usual?” the bartender said.

“Just two pints today.” The man said quietly.

The barman went and poured two pints and handed them to the man, who quietly went to his usual table and started drinking immediately. Fearing the worst, the barman went to the man to try and perhaps offer some words of consolation.

“I’m sorry sir, is everything alright? I noticed you only ordered two today. I’d like to offer my condolences for the passing of your friend.”

“Oh no, no….no worries, we’re all three of us very much alive and doing well,” the man said with a reassuring smile, “it’s just that I gave up beer for lent.”

 

I was in a bookstore recently, and came across a book titled "How to solve 50% of your problems" So I bought 2 copies...