Warning: Anti- cop humor… I actually sent this around to my cop friends before posting, and they were quite offended that muffins and croissants were not mentioned…
Higgs Boson walks into the cathedral, goes into the confessional and tells the priest that he is leaving the church. The priest says, “My son, please don't take that path - you can’t abandon the church community!” Higgs Boson replies, “I'm sorry but I must. My uncertainty is overwhelming and I having a real crisis of faith!” The priest says, “You don’t understand, please don't do this! If you leave ... we can’t have mass!”