Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

Darlinboy · Jan 16, 2022

"Politicians these days are awful!" lamented Joe to his buddy Fred as they sat at the bar having a pint or two. "All the sleazy maneuvering and backstabbing, how do they sleep at night?"

"It's no big mystery my friend," responded Fred, pausing to empty his mug and motioning to the bartender for another round. "First, they lie on one side and then, halfway through the night, they flip and lie on the other!"

Omegafanman · Jan 16, 2022

Darlinboy
"Politicians these days are awful!" lamented Joe to his buddy Fred as they sat at the bar having a pint or two. "All the sleazy maneuvering and backstabbing, how do they sleep at night?"

"It's no big mystery my friend," responded Fred, pausing to empty his mug and motioning to the bartender for another round. "First, they lie on one side and then, halfway through the night, they flip and lie on the other!"

‘’Politicians are assholes’’ An angry Fred called out. A big guy at the back of the bar got up, rolled up his sleeves and walked towards the friends saying ‘’sir I take great exception to that’’....... ‘’are you a politician’’ a terrified Fed asked..... And just before he landed the first punch the guy said.... ‘’No I am .....an asshole’’

kkt · Jan 16, 2022

M'Bob
I was actually wondering what they were going for: abbreviated “Assorted Cream Cake”; “Ice Cream Cake” spelled incorrectly; or in fact, the dreaded cake made out of ass cream. If the latter, you gotta give them points for honesty…

Well the cakes are not in a freezer, so I'm guessing either option 1 or 3...

Tony C. · Jan 16, 2022

Duracuir1 · Jan 17, 2022

Blue Monday Knee Slapper.

M'Bob · Jan 17, 2022

Tired of fragrant geriatrics?

hmmmcamu · Jan 17, 2022

Darlinboy · Jan 17, 2022

"After twenty-three years of marriage, my wife just discovered I've been cheating," said Tony to his buddy Earl as they sat on Earl's front porch sipping whiskey.

"That's awful!" said Earl. "How did she find out - I didn't even know?!"

"Well, I got a bit careless," Tony replied,"and she saw the letters I was hiding."

Shaking his head in disgust, Earl said emphatically, "My friend, your goose is cooked. Here, better have another shot!"

Earl poured Tony another three fingers of whiskey then asked,"What's she going to do now?"

"Well one thing is certain," answered Tony downing his drink in one swallow, "she is never going to play Scrabble with me again!"