For my FOH, A1, humhead friends and you others as well. I was thinking about the metric system...how many microphones are there in a megaphone? have fun kfw
Two old men decide they are close to their last days, and decide to have one wild, last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel… The Madam takes one look at the old timers, and whispers to her manager, “ Go up to the first two bedrooms, and put a blow-up doll in each bed. These two are so old, and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know difference.” The two old men go upstairs, and take care of their business. As they are walking home, one of them says, “You know, I think my girl was dead!” Dead!” says his friend, “why do you say that?” “Well, she never moved, or made a sound, all the time I was loving her!” His friend says, “Could be worse, I think mine was a witch.” “A witch??… why the hell would you say that?” “Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite. Then she farted, flew out the window, and took my teeth with her!!!”
Them: "Who's skull is that?" Me: Raising it to my lips to take a drink. " A guy named Philip." Them: "What's in it?" Me: Vodka and orange juice" Them: ??? Me: " It's a Philips head screwdriver" have fun kfw
A horse walks into a bar. "Hey," says the bartender. "You read my mind & make it a double," whinnies the horse.
A Canadian man walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder. The cat is wearing a tiny Maple Leafs hat. "Cute," says the bartender. "Where'd you get that?" "Canada," the cat replies, glancing down at the man, "They've got millions of them."