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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
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DaveK
··Yoda of Yodelers
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Canuck
·Motto for an automobile radiator repair place near me:
“A GOOD PLACE TO TAKE A LEAK”!
“A GOOD PLACE TO TAKE A LEAK”!
- Posts
- 1,618
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- 5,090
flw
··history nerd
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
- Posts
- 374
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- 315
jeppe888
·
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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time flies
·For my FOH, A1, humhead friends and you others as well.
I was thinking about the metric system...how many microphones are there in a megaphone?
have fun
kfw
I was thinking about the metric system...how many microphones are there in a megaphone?
have fun
kfw
- Posts
- 14,355
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- 41,350
Canuck
·
- Posts
- 3,133
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Edward53
·
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Charlemagne1333
·Two old men decide they are close to their last days, and decide to have one wild, last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel…
The Madam takes one look at the old timers, and whispers to her manager, “ Go up to the first two bedrooms, and put a blow-up doll in each bed. These two are so old, and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know difference.”
The two old men go upstairs, and take care of their business.
As they are walking home, one of them says, “You know, I think my girl was dead!”
Dead!” says his friend, “why do you say that?”
“Well, she never moved, or made a sound, all the time I was loving her!”
His friend says, “Could be worse, I think mine was a witch.”
“A witch??… why the hell would you say that?”
“Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite. Then she farted, flew out the window, and took my teeth with her!!!”
The Madam takes one look at the old timers, and whispers to her manager, “ Go up to the first two bedrooms, and put a blow-up doll in each bed. These two are so old, and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know difference.”
The two old men go upstairs, and take care of their business.
As they are walking home, one of them says, “You know, I think my girl was dead!”
Dead!” says his friend, “why do you say that?”
“Well, she never moved, or made a sound, all the time I was loving her!”
His friend says, “Could be worse, I think mine was a witch.”
“A witch??… why the hell would you say that?”
“Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite. Then she farted, flew out the window, and took my teeth with her!!!”
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time flies
·Them: "Who's skull is that?"
Me: Raising it to my lips to take a drink. " A guy named Philip."
Them: "What's in it?"
Me: Vodka and orange juice"
Them: ???
Me: " It's a Philips head screwdriver"
have fun
kfw
Me: Raising it to my lips to take a drink. " A guy named Philip."
Them: "What's in it?"
Me: Vodka and orange juice"
Them: ???
Me: " It's a Philips head screwdriver"
have fun
kfw
- Posts
- 27,697
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- 70,388
Archer
··Omega Qualified WatchmakerWent to have a pint a a place called "The Fiddle", but it was a vile inn, so we left.
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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DaveK
··Yoda of YodelersThese kids shouldn’t be in danger then…
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!A horse walks into a bar.
"Hey," says the bartender.
"You read my mind & make it a double," whinnies the horse.
"Hey," says the bartender.
"You read my mind & make it a double," whinnies the horse.
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!A hot dog walks into a bar.
"Sorry," says the bartender, "we don't serve food here"
"Sorry," says the bartender, "we don't serve food here"
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!A Canadian man walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder. The cat is wearing a tiny Maple Leafs hat.
"Cute," says the bartender. "Where'd you get that?"
"Canada," the cat replies, glancing down at the man, "They've got millions of them."
"Cute," says the bartender. "Where'd you get that?"
"Canada," the cat replies, glancing down at the man, "They've got millions of them."
Edited:
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!"Sorry," says the bartender. "We don't serve time travelers here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A time traveler walks into a bar.