Forums Latest Members

Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. vitriol Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    982
    Likes
    2,914
    So does Irvine Peacock.
     
  2. Omegafanman Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    4,564
    Likes
    17,121
    Its Xmas - so time for your worst Cracker jokes …..(Santa arrived early last weekend :0)…
     
    Xmas Crackers.jpg
  3. Canuck Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    13,469
    Likes
    37,961
    What do you get when you cross sheep and kangaroos................ Wooly jumpers.
     
    Omegafanman, Darlinboy and haqq777 like this.
  4. haqq777 Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    400
    Likes
    1,399
    [​IMG]
     
    Omegafanman and bubba48 like this.
  5. Darlinboy Pratts! Will I B******S!!! Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    8,728
    Likes
    69,016
    Let’s eat grandma! :whistling:
     
    haqq777 likes this.
  6. haqq777 Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    400
    Likes
    1,399
    Mm .. tasty..
     
  7. VjaceCZ Dec 22, 2020

    Posts
    253
    Likes
    439
  8. Ascalon Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    187
    Likes
    296
  9. Darlinboy Pratts! Will I B******S!!! Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    8,728
    Likes
    69,016
    Q: How does Moses make his morning coffee?


    A. He brews it!

    ::rimshot::
     
    Omegafanman and hanky6 like this.
  10. Darlinboy Pratts! Will I B******S!!! Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    8,728
    Likes
    69,016
    With fewer people on the road due to pandemic restrictions, traffic accidents are way way down... and so are personal injury claims. Some firms are getting rather desperate. I saw a billboard yesterday that read:

    Have Covid-19 mandates caused you to have to wear a mask and eyeglasses at the same time?

    Call us now! You may be entitled to condensation.
     
  11. Canuck Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    13,469
    Likes
    37,961
    Reminds me of a label I saw on a motorcycle some years ago. “Harleys don’t LEAK. They mark their spot!”
     
    Darlinboy, VjaceCZ and haqq777 like this.
  12. rob#1 Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    1,940
    Likes
    3,184
    I can certainly relate to this, however my puddle would be ringed with rust and bits of bodywork that just fell off
     
  13. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    26,442
    Likes
    65,498
    magomed, bubba48, Omegafanman and 2 others like this.
  14. Charlemagne1333 Dec 23, 2020

    Posts
    2,295
    Likes
    4,357
  15. Mad Dog rockpaperscissorschampion Dec 24, 2020

    Posts
    6,347
    Likes
    74,130
    My buddy and fellow OF member @ChuckMK23 just sent me this text...

    457CAB39-BD93-4BBF-88F6-8003E4ABC8D8.jpeg
     
    Omegafanman, DaveK, M'Bob and 4 others like this.
  16. M'Bob Dec 24, 2020

    Posts
    6,396
    Likes
    18,165
    upload_2020-12-24_9-18-30.png
     
    bubba48, kkt, Omegafanman and 5 others like this.
  17. Omegafanman Dec 24, 2020

    Posts
    4,564
    Likes
    17,121
    One for the Children tonight…..

    Christmas Eve and Santa was getting ready to fly with all the presents for the good girls and boys… when a little officious man with round glasses, a business suit and an inadequate coat knocked on the Grotto door. I am from the international civil aviation authority he explained, and you do not have appropriate license .. so you are banned from flying tonight. Desperate to bring happiness and wonder to the world Santa used all his elves to immediately fill out every bureaucratic form and applied for an instant licence by magic. Not so fast said the man – you still have to pass an airworthiness test. For several hours the man then checked and tested every element of the reindeers and sleigh, pulling on the harness of prancer and dancer, checking the hooves of donner and blitzen and measuring the lumen output from Rudolph’s nose. Every test was passed and so he agreed to a flight test…. Santa climbed aboard lifted the reigns and the sleigh shot forward, lifting magically and majestically into the night sky behind the team of reindeer. The inspector suddenly pulled a .45 Webley revolver from under his jacket took aim and short Rudolph dead, clean through the head. Horrified Santa brought the sleigh to land … why he screamed why…… What is your problem said the man – just a standard engine failure recovery test …..
     
    Charlemagne1333 likes this.
  18. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Dec 24, 2020

    Posts
    26,442
    Likes
    65,498
    CHwatCHfan, DaveK, JohnWoo and 6 others like this.
  19. RonJ Dec 24, 2020

    Posts
    503
    Likes
    1,877
    An oldie but a goodie.

    he-bought-a-new-watch.jpg
     
    kkt, VjaceCZ, haqq777 and 8 others like this.
  20. Omegafanman Dec 27, 2020

    Posts
    4,564
    Likes
    17,121
    It is still a cracker / it's they way they tell em…...
     
    Xmax crackers.jpg