Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

Posts
1,238
Likes
4,729
Question...What do you call ten thousand lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

Answer...a good start.

have fun
 
Posts
4,662
Likes
17,651
I still find this one of the more enlightening ‘expert’ interviews I have watched. It works for 99% of topics as well....machine wrapped with butter of course....

 
Posts
2,326
Likes
7,544
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when i returned to my table I realized.... I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
 
Posts
3,897
Likes
8,741
ah lawyer jokes.

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A: A Rottweiler
 
Posts
4,662
Likes
17,651
So I bumped into a lady at the supermarket today. She had a trolley full of toilet rolls, pasta, soap and hand sanitiser. I stopped and gave her a real telling off and a piece of my mind.....She said I hear you buddy... but please get out of my way... I have shelves to fill....
 
Posts
14,330
Likes
41,291
I did a bit of grocery shopping myself, just after the store opened at 8:00 am, Monday. I’ve never seen the like of it. In particular, the bread shelves, the pasta area, and the paper aisle! I didn’t cover the whole store, but I am certain there were other areas as well. I was able to get what we needed, but I had to compromise in the bread area. Looks like we’ll be eating pumpernickel bread for a while. Not that I mind. I could have had all the gluten free bread my cart would hold, but you only eat that out of abject necessity.
 
Posts
4,894
Likes
14,784
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when i returned to my table I realized.... I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
Where’d your avatar go? Bought by hoarders?
 
Posts
1,279
Likes
3,071
At least its topical and has probably happened.
 
Posts
814
Likes
3,841
At least its topical and has probably happened.
Did you not read the previous page?
 
Posts
16,438
Likes
34,635
Did you not read the previous page?

But that one was a lady with a trolley full of toilet rolls, pasta, soap and hand sanitiser.

This one is a bloke with hand sanitisers, baby wipes and soaps.

Totally different joke.

😉
 
Posts
1,594
Likes
3,807
I did a bit of grocery shopping myself, just after the store opened at 8:00 am, Monday. I’ve never seen the like of it. In particular, the bread shelves, the pasta area, and the paper aisle! I didn’t cover the whole store, but I am certain there were other areas as well. I was able to get what we needed, but I had to compromise in the bread area. Looks like we’ll be eating pumpernickel bread for a while. Not that I mind. I could have had all the gluten free bread my cart would hold, but you only eat that out of abject necessity.

Yep last sunday morning I had to pick up some essentials (I was down to 1 trash bag at home), witnessed the same. Funny thing, I took as usual some pumpernickel bread, there was plenty of it, and nothing else in the bread area. Guess I'm the only French actually liking the stuff...
🤨
 
Posts
814
Likes
3,841
But that one was a lady with a trolley full of toilet rolls, pasta, soap and hand sanitiser.

This one is a bloke with hand sanitisers, baby wipes and soaps.

Totally different joke.

😉

Hell, it is always the pesky details that trip me up......
 
Posts
4,662
Likes
17,651
Hell, it is always the pesky details that trip me up......

So I was at the supermarket and saw this Gender fluid / non binary character with a trolley full of toilet rolls, pasta, soap and hand sanitiser...….
 
Posts
648
Likes
798
So, I ran into a guy at the supermarket with a [trolley|basket|cart] full to the brim with TP, hand sanitizer....

Nevermind.
 
Posts
16,741
Likes
47,365
The joke is there was any of that stuff in a supermarket let alone a trolley......


On a side note I scored big yesterday, too valuable to put in the back of the ute like normal. Had the misses walk home......