That's very sad that you didn't get to ride with your dad and wished you could have been there for him. When my dad collapsed at the top of my stairs in 2006, which required me to administer CPR, after the ambulance arrived the paramedics didn't let me ride with him either. In my case he lived another year and a half, and I was fortunate to have that time.

Just know that many paramedics and doctors (are trained to) believe that they are protecting families by not letting them watch a family member traumatically die right in front of them. They are also afraid the presence of family will become too disruptive or distracting during the acute treatment of severe trauma.

As a pediatrician I had that same fear, and we once had a child come into in the ER who was in a car that was hit by a train which caused massive head trauma. I was running the resuscitation and code with no parents allowed, but as soon as the child was stable enough and the large head wound was wrapped up I then asked the parents come see her to say they're goodbyes, because I wasn't sure whether the child would live through the life-flight to the hospital 40 miles away.

She did live and had a very good recovery, because children are so resilient and can bounce back better than adults sometimes. After that, the ER staff, ER adult doctor, and I were so very proud of ourselves for our heroic life-saving treatment, until we saw the newspaper article about the accident. It quoted the parents as saying that, "they were traumatized by seeing their little girl all wrapped up in bandages and on a ventilator to breathe for her, and that they didn't appreciate the doctor making them see her like that. The image of her limp body would haunt them in their dreams, they said".

The parents apparently, not understanding the severity of the injury and the measures that we had to go through to keep her alive, had not considered the possibility that their child might actually die. So, if she wasn't going to die, then in their minds we shouldn't have made them see her before sending her off in the helicopter (definitely no family in the small helicopter). I didn't want being loaded into the helicopter to be the last time they saw her alive, hence bringing them back to see her 1st.

So typically, in cases of severe and acute trauma, medical personnel have been trained to keep family out until the patient is stable. That way the family or loved ones don't have to witness the yelling and cursing during CPR or while trying to get an IV started, and other things that can be psychologically traumatic to the family.

 

Larry, you have my appreciation, and that of many others I am sure. Screw those parents. You did the right thing, and lucky for them their girl lived and recovered.

 

I was adopted along with 5 other children by the most awesome Man I ever knew or met. Extremely intelligent and unselfish he worked his life tirelessly to support the Family in as many ways as imaginable. When he was too far gone from cancer I flew half way around the globe to be by his side. Told him straight up....."Your the biggest and best Man I have ever known" He beemed from ear to ear hearing that.. He passed within 6 hours of that. What hit me was my other adopted Brothers and Sisters said that Dad would not go until he saw me. He really did emotionally and physically control his own moment of fate. The last thing I would have said to him was "stay....don't go, don't let go." On the contraire........ "Dad......if you let go, I understand. You have done enough...I will hold the fort." I knew him so well and that was all he wanted to hear. All Pop's are individual, and so will be how all Son's and Daughters cope with a Parents parting. Best regards.

 

Very sad to hear such news, not enough words to express my feelings. Bufff .... crying helps a lot to release all frustration and good company around you will help to move ahead and keep always up there your dad. Sorry but I’m not a native English speaker so not easy to explain what I really mean. Big hug

 

Dear OF friends,

Dad passed this morning at 6:30am from his Pancreatic Cancer. He was surrounded by his loving family and went to see the good Lord.

I was blessed with much advice from this forum and want to thank you all for it. I was also blessed that Dad kept going past his expectancy and we were able to celebrate his birthday. Words cannot describe the pain I’m feeling right now but I am comforted by his not suffering anymore.

I want you all to know my Dad was a good and humble man who would give you the shirt off his back. He will be missed.

Thank you all again for your knowledge, love, friendship and advice.

Steve

 

My condolences to you and your family. I lost my dad to cancer a little over 10 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but it does get better!

 

My condolences, Steve. Take are of others in your family. I'm glad you got to celebrate his birthday.

 

My deepest condolences to you and your family

 

Sad news Steve, my deepest condolences and my thoughts are with you during this time.
Hope you got to spend some quality time with your dad before he passed.

 

Steve - sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. I'm sure you have many good memories of him that will help you though this difficult time.

 

Sorry for your loss Steve. My late father had cancer and it’s hard to view the future without them. Time is a great healer and whilst the pain never fully goes away, it does fade and eventually the great memories that you have overtake it. Keep strong and grieve all that you need too.

 

Sorry for your loss, Steve.

Just reading what everyone shared is so heartwarming and touching.

 

My condolences to you and your family. I'm so glad that the people in this thread were able to help with what you are going through.

 

So sorry for your loss Steve. Thinking about you right now.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. Breaks my heart.

 

My condolences to you and yours. Hang in there Steve and surround yourself with loving, supportive people.

 

My sincerest condolences to you and your loved ones.

 

i couldn’t have said it better. Steve, I hope that you were able to spend some quality time with your Dad before he passed. This is what I did with my mother who passed at 89. I made it a priority to be with her every day for her last few months. No special events, trips, etc. Just quality time spent together talking, laughing and reminiscing. There were happy moments, difficult moments and profoundly sad moments. She eventually lapsed into unconsciousness and died peacefully after 8 days in hospice. I was holding her hand when she passed. Obviously he was a very good man who raised a caring, dedicated son. He was there for you. I’m glad that you were there for him. You have my sincere sympathies for your loss. Take care and God bless you both.

 

I was thinking about you the other day when I was out for a walk. So sorry for your loss. Wishing you much strength.

 

All the very best to you and your family. Take comfort in the fact that he had a good life and a family that loved him.