I’m sorry Steve- I raise my glass to you and your wonderful father.
James

 

I just read this post and brought to the surface fresh memory about losing a parent. At this point i can only express my sincere condolences to you and your family.

In all the bad that can happen of losing a father in this way, I'm glad that you had the chance to spend some time whit him before he passed away.

All the best,

Simone

 

Really sorry to read this news but nice to at least read you had longer than expected and we're able to celebrate one last birthday together.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

2 weeks ago I visited my Auntie on her death bed (More Mother & Son relationship). When she was in better health we had a number of falls outs and petty squabbles. I had not seen her for months, but when I heard the news she had 24hrs to live I visited her bedside. Although she could barely talk or open her eyes I leant over, gave her a kiss on the forehead and said jokingly ‘I’m here to start another argument’. She smiled, and with her last breath called out my name. She died hours later.

The way I look at it, I got the chance to say goodbye and tell her I loved her, I let her know the fall outs and squabbling were irrelevant. It won’t be easy and I feel for you, but the positive is you will get to say your goodbyes and show your love. I think your dad will take great comfort in that during his last hours.

 

My sincere condolences on the loss of your father, having gone through this with my father I appreciate that the loss is difficult to come to terms with, your father is now in a better place, he is no longer in pain or suffering.

This Christmas raise a glass to toast your father, shed a tear as you remember those great times you had together, then look round the table and think of the great times that you are going to have with those people around you.

 

I’m sorry for your loss Steve. Keep your head up and think of the good times.

 

My sincere condolences Steve. Thanks for sharing this with us, and thanks to everyone that also shared their experiences.

I lost my father at a young age unexpectedly and without warning... we never had a chance to say goodbye.

 

I'm really sorry for your loss Steve, and hope you and your family are doing ok. Went through the same recently with my Dad. Good to hear he was able to celebrate his birthday and to be with his loved ones.

Daniel

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Steve, it will be such a tough time for all of you right now.

I lost my brother a couple of years ago and never had an opportunity and always look back with regret because you just don't know.

You got to spend time with him, remember all those good times and not so good as he helped shape you and yours and who you are today... fond memories. He knew and I'm sure was just as proud of you as you are of him.

Lee

 

My deepest condolences my friend!!

 

I think I can share the pain you feel because I see such cases every day. I work as a nurse in an oncology hospital, and such a situation is heartbreaking. Children lose their parents, and parents lose their children. There is no more terrible pain than the loss of loved ones. I stay with the patients until the last breath. Sometimes I can't get tired, but I understand they need me more. It is also a sacrifice to work in the medical field. I also try to keep my health; I eat more balanced, drink a lot of water, wear comfortable nursing shoes so that my feet don't swell, and I do sports.

 

How timely that this has come up again today.
First of all, Steve, I hope you are finding your way following your terrible loss.

The reason I'm adding to the post is because I lost a dear friend to pancreatic cancer last autumn. It's a horrible cancer. Rarely is it found in time to be effectively treated. That's why I will be participating in the London - Essex 100 mile bike ride at the end of May, raising money for Pancreatic Cancer UK. They fund research and campaign for Pancreatic Cancer. While I'm thinking of Rina, I will also try to keep you and your father in mind.

 

My deepest condolences. The number of replies you're getting here shows just how much you're appreciated here. I only read the first several pages so forgive me if this has been addressed. I don't want to sound crass here but, hopefully you have all the legalities in order. Living will, DNR (if wanted), executor, all paperwork in order, etc. My parent's had a sizeable estate and had some, but not all bases covered. My sister was the executor and for several years she was still finding accounts (mostly stocks and bonds) that she didn't know about. On a more personal note, we think we're prepared for losing a loved one, but we're not. Do the best you can and reach out if needed.

 

Pancreatic cancer got my mother, 8 years ago now. It's horrible when it takes people when they're young, but if you have to go in some ways it's not the worst. The first year after diagnosis, she functioned very nearly normally when she wasn't taking chemo. She made sure her last graduate students finished their degrees, finished her last duties as executrix of her mother's estate, made sure her will etc. were in order and made sure I made mine as well, had visits from everyone she still wanted to have a conversation with. Then once the chemo was no longer effective the end was quick, not lingering with no quality of life like dementia.

 

So sorry for the loss. I have not experienced anything like this, I wish I could be of more help. Best wishes and blessings to you and your family. Xx

 

sorry to hear, my dad is awaiting a triple bypass open heart surgery in his 60’s we are all nervous and thankful for every moment. Stay positive, a friends dad was given a year to live and is on year 5 going strong.

 

This is timely. My father is approaching 90, has Alzheimer's disease, and over the last week or so has begun to fall a lot, and become hugely confused. We suspect there is something else going on now, and he hopefully will see a geriatrician on an emergency basis in the next couple of days. There is no way of knowing exactly how long it will be now, whether weeks, months or years, but we know it will be, and reading this thread has just made it a little easier to face knowing that people face this all the time.

 

The emotional pain and sorrow of losing a loved one is hard enough to deal with, ensuring things are in order can greatly reduce difficulties that survivors have to go through. As uncomfortable as this aspect is to talk about, I think it's important not to overlook.

My wife and I lost her mother a year ago (March 26, 2021). It is the first loss either of us has experienced, and we now understand the breadth and depth of emotions such a loss causes. In our case, it was made harder in that she passed mid-way through Covid restrictions and so we hadn't been able to see her in 13 months since they live in NOLA and we in Canada. They normally return for summers and we visit them over Christmas, but the pandemic made both of those not feasible. Fortunately (for her), she passed rather quickly, and after having a wonderful year with her husband (finally retired - 'mostly') at 82 and so we found comfort that at least her pain was minimal.

Beyond the normal flood of sorrow, my poor wife has struggled for a year now trying to help her father and siblings deal with the unfortunate reality of wills that couldn't be found, and resulting confusion and difficulty trying to settle her estate in 2 countries.

 

Steve,
Sorry for your loss, my father was recently diagnosed with cancer, he's fighting it now. My first wife passed away when we were 27 years old and it devastated me. I spent as much time with her as possible and constantly told her how much I loved her. When she passed in our home, the final moments of her life, I was holding her hand and whispering in her ear again telling her I loved her. To me that is the most important thing you can do since love is really the only thing that endures, the only thing you can really take with you. I leaned on my faith and still do my best to live a life she would be proud of. I pray God gives you and your family peace, and fills you with memories of joy and love as time goes on.
Ventura

 

@1972Steve I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It's so hard to watch someone you love suffer through their final moments. But as others here have said, there is some solace to be taken in the fact that you have been privileged to be his boy. It's only natural to know in your heart that he's so proud to have been your dad.

Not trying to push any particular view on anyone, but if you're a God-fearing man, His grace shines upon you for loving and caring for one of His sons in his time of need.

The world will keep turning, and the pain will wane, but the memory of your dad will always be with you; likely it'll strike you at the most unpredictable and beautiful times as you carry on.

Make it a point to talk with him even after he's gone. His wisdom and guidance doesn't have to stop with his death.

God bless you and your family, and may He embrace your dad with open arms and tears of joy upon his departure.