Do the civil inadvertently enable the uncivil?

Rasputin · Sep 28, 2019

Archer
Exactly. Don’t let them have your mind...

Such behavior from an irrelevant person shouldn’t affect your mind. However letting it slip often enables the behavior to perpetuate and hence the title of the thread.

A similar situation occurred to me also at the deli of a grocery store by a surly employee who made sure everyone felt his presence. The first time I let it go thinking perhaps he had a bad day. A week later, the same guy with the same rude behavior. This time he went so far as to loudly complain when I told him again that I asked for a pound of lunch meat rather than the 0.75 lb he initially sliced. His response: “It’s close enough!” as he grabbed the stack of meat and threw it on to the deli table. I told him to keep it and went straight to the manager. The following week Mr. Surly was no longer there. One of his coworkers informed me he was fired earlier in the week and was grateful he no longer had to work with him.

jsducote · Sep 29, 2019

M'Bob
Interesting. I have never been passionate enough about any political candidate or politician to advertise them on a hat, shirt, or car.

This x 1000. They're rich enough thanks to lobbyists and PACs. They don't need my money and it won't change their opinion about me anyway.

kkt · Sep 29, 2019

nonuffinkbloke
You want to try shopping in the UK mate! We've got the worst customer service anywhere. 😲

The basteddz just say "Right....I've got ya money... now take ya stuff... and 'fakk awff out of my shop!"😁

Really? The times I've visited I've been impressed by how civil they are. Are you from the UK Tourism Prevention Bureau?

nonuffinkbloke · Sep 29, 2019

kkt
Really? The times I've visited I've been impressed by how civil they are. Are you from the UK Tourism Prevention Bureau?

No mate... I was born (and raised) in London 62 years ago and I've been in a lot of shops in that time.😀 English customer services are not very good.... maybe a bit more friendly in the north of England.😕

To make it worse, (Since McDonald's turned up in the 1980's) we've also had to put up with spotty teenagers, in stupid hats, (imitating polite Americans) telling us to "have a nice day!" 😡.....(Like they would give a toss if we fell under a bus on the way home) 😡.... 😡

MRC · Sep 29, 2019

nonuffinkbloke
No mate... I was born (and raised) in London 62 years ago and I've been in a lot of shops in that time.😀 English customer services are not very good.... maybe a bit more friendly in the north of England.😕

Well, you are rather more likely to be addressed as "luv" or "mi-duck" the further north you go (in England) but I haven't found basic civility to be any different, nor was it in any other country I've lived in or visited.

nonuffinkbloke · Sep 29, 2019

MRC
Well, you are rather more likely to be addressed as "luv" or "mi-duck" the further north you go (in England) but I haven't found basic civility to be any different, nor was it in any other country I've lived in or visited.

You won't get an accurate picture from a bit of tourism... you need at least half a century of it mate!😁

MRC · Sep 29, 2019

nonuffinkbloke
You won't get an accurate picture from a bit of tourism... you need at least half a century of it mate!😁

I've lived in England for longer even than you 😜, and in other countries for about 10% more. You may call me Methuselah.

Archer · Sep 29, 2019

Rasputin
Such behavior from an irrelevant person shouldn’t affect your mind. However letting it slip often enables the behavior to perpetuate and hence the title of the thread.

Of course I didn't indicate that people should let it slip. My point is that letting it get to you only makes you the victim.

tyrantlizardrex · Sep 29, 2019

nonuffinkbloke
Like they would give a toss if we fell under a bus on the way home

Projecting much? 😉

wagudc · Sep 29, 2019

BlackTalon
Well as a long-time soccer player, we typically did not 'want' referees -- the leagues made us use them. We were fine self-policing (i.e., only the strong survive) 😁 The leagues made refs a necessary evil

I play for fun in a recreational league, and love to have a decent referee to keep us safe. I am too old for a major injury. I don't care if the referees are mediocre, as long as they are decisive.

wagudc · Sep 29, 2019

We have the opposite issue on the West Coast of the US, there is a certain drive through coffee chain that hires teenagers and trains them to treat everyone like their best girlfriend. Friendly is good, but "Hey, how are you doing tonight? Where are you headed? What do you have planned?" delivered in an over the top way is too much. I find it insulting, like I am a despairate middle aged man who will shop at a coffee shop because they're teenage girls that act like we're buds. I only go there when I am desperately in need of a caffeine and it is the only option.

Walrus · Sep 29, 2019

We got hit with a tornado two years ago, started a mile from my house and we were in the direct path. It took off a few neighbors roofs, put a tree on my car and just a massive clean up effort. I was out with my chainsaw everyday for weeks. Every time I started it someone would come over and offer help. I made rounds every couple days cutting up trees for elderly people and others who needed help as my chainsaw can cut massive trees and it is much bigger than I needed but was the only one available after the storm. More info than you guys need but I like how negative events can bring out the positive in people. I will admit I do start disliking people who have generators when the rest of us have no power for a week, I need to work on that.

nonuffinkbloke · Sep 29, 2019

MRC
You may call me Methuselah.

Well, that being the case, you've got to put up with the dreadful customer service for another 900 years.😁

Do the civil inadvertently enable the uncivil?

Rasputin

jsducote

kkt

nonuffinkbloke

MRC

nonuffinkbloke

MRC

Archer

tyrantlizardrex

wagudc

wagudc

Walrus

nonuffinkbloke

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