Because We Need To Talk About It

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Why do Men move out of shared premises, when females tell them they are not happy with the present ? If they are not happy with you, they should move out and move on. What is instilled in Men to react that way/ somehow do not even question that proposal from the female . Because that's all it is, a proposal. Let them leave to end their misery. Equal rights for all.
 
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@Bumper we are glad you are here. Find whatever it is that brings joy to you and focus on that. For example I find that there’s plenty on here to read that gets my mind off of things and before I know it I’ve been here a while reading, I find that therapeutic for sure! And I have cats too and I say every day thank goodness for them!
 
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How's everyone doing? At the beginning of 2020, there was a thread debating covid 19, i see its gone now.

A lot has happened, my other half left at the end of 2021, it was sudden, unexpected & confusing. After 12 years, all she said was "i'm not happy & i cannot continue". Apparently we had a lot of talks about it, which i did not remember.. to which she said, "if you don't remember, i suggest you get some help.

She blamed me for everything, said nothing, & suggested that i needed psychiatric help. I honestly had no idea what was happening, i was given time to move out, but the next day, it was changed to just 2 weeks. i had to pack everything i had & moved into an empty apartment. I worked in the daytime & packed my things in the evening. I made a trip everyday and rented a truck on the last day.

It was bad, i was confused, i didn't know what was happening, to say it was upsetting would be an understatement.
It took months to get things fixed, hot water, appliances, furniture, cabinets. Living in a mess, unpacking & re-packing things, donating & throwing things away. I found a shrink that cost more than phone sex, and that was the only thing that helped.

Long story short, she was gaslighting me. With the benefit of hindsight & help from my shrink, she had many, many narcissistic personality traits. She was very subtle, what they call a covert narcissist, everything she blamed me for, she actually did herself. Anger management, not talking, avoiding issues, silent treatment, guilt tripping, never apologising, the list goes on.

i had months of her constantly reaching out to add more agony till i just cut contact. Was told i could come see my cats & collect my things, went there to find my things at the rubbish point & nobody home. Left the treats for my cats at the door & left.

Left some furniture there, was told i could come get them when i cleared things & sorted out my stuff. 2 days after i moved out, she put them up for sale..

There's pages & pages that i had to write down, memories, little incidents that now make sense. Things that went missing, but was told i either never had them, or had thrown them away. Well, i found some of those things when i was packing my things. My spare keyboard that i supposedly never had was stuffed behind my cupboard. Seeing the shrink was good and bad, good was getting things explained, bad was not being able to sleep.

Best of all, my bff took her side & 2 close friends re-located overseas. So i went through it alone. I'm still working on things 21 mths on. The first year was rough, i had no will to go on. I was on a lot of alcohol, Battling suicidal thoughts daily is no joke, depression, anxiety, and cptsd combined wore me out. I came close... the only thing that kept me going was taking care of my cat.

i guess thats all i have to say, i'm still here...

I am glad you are here. I've been through a divorce to someone I thought "got me" and it took a long time to get over. One of my closest friends went through something very much like you did after marrying a cover narcissist. I had one longish-term relationship about 10 years after my divorce that didn't work out and in my 40s realized that being alone didn't mean being lonely. I don't have any married friends in what I would consider a healthy relationship and I have never felt as alone as I did in the last six months of my marriage. It gets better and outside of clinical depression, happiness can be a choice. Take care!
 
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So we all know what Carrie Fisher was famous for right? But did you know what else she was? She was a Mental Health Advocate and she had a mental illness, she suffered from bipolar disorder.

Well guess what, I have a mental illness too. I battle depression, more specifically MDD or Major Depressive Disorder. It’s a disease, like heart disease or diabetes, treatable but not curable and most commonly thought to be linked to an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, affecting 19 million Americans and 350 million worldwide.

It’s something I’ve battled most of my life in one form or another, although I didn’t have a name or diagnosis for it until my mid thirties. Held in check for many years by antidepressant medication, it descended upon me in 2016 with a viciousness, like never before. It’s been brutal and debilitating, with unbearable darkness, sucking every bit of joy from my life.

One thing depression doesn’t do is discriminate. It doesn’t care how old you are or where you live, how much money you make or what color you are, it doesn’t care if you are a man or a woman or what kind of watch you wear, it's an equal opportunity disease.

Depression is also one of the leading causes for suicide. Yes, I know people who have survived an attempt; they simply couldn’t bear the torment anymore. Would I ever try, no, but that’s not to say I haven’t thought about it. Yes, it can get that dark, a pervasive feeling of inexplicable sadness, hopelessness and despair day after day, week after week, I have been there and I hope I never go there again.

Am I well now, honestly, no, am I better than I was earlier in the year, yes, will I be on medication for the rest of my life probably, but it beats the alternative (see above).

So what’s my point?

Talk about it.

If you or someone you know may be suffering from depression, or any other mental illness there is help. Is it easy, fuck no, I battle every day, I’m still trying to find medication(s) to make it more tolerable, I see a psychiatrist, I talk to a therapist, I talk about it with friends and family and I go to a support group, it all helps.

And last but not least it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's not a weakness or a defect it's just part of some of us.


Here are some links for anyone who needs help or wants answers:

NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness - http://www.nami.org

DBSA - Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance - http://www.dbsalliance.org


Quite simply, this was one of the most important posts I've read in a long time. Please never lose sight that this "community" is behind you and supportive of both your good and bad times. Please hang in there!
 
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I had wrote this and deleted it but since there is some talk here I guess I write it as it’s stuck in my mind. After my 8th Covid infection I got diagnosed with long Covid which is annoying as hell. I got into a long Covid clinic and they suggested it was safe to get back to exercise. I jogged probably a mile and thee quarters, collapsed about a half mile from my house and came to in an ambulance.

Three days in the hospital, one in the telemetry unit. No major diagnosis at this point but while I was in the telemetry unit the MD was doing rounds speaking to my roommate. They told the poor guy he needed heart surgery but his lungs were too damaged to perform the procedure. He is gay and I couldn’t help but notice his husband was with him probably 18hrs while my wife visited 1 hr but I actually told her to stay home work and rest.

The gentleman and his husband were of course broken up. We had become friendly since it’s very boring laying in a hospital bed and conversation makes the time pass.

I felt horrible for them. Here I was bitchin about being stuck in a hospital and this guy is getting a death sentence. I was due for my last test an MRI but signed out AMA as the couple was having deep conversations and getting emotional and I figured even if it took them a couple hours to fill my bed they would have some time alone. Plus there really aren’t many treatments for long COVID and no one knows how it will last so I felt like I was taking a bed for someone who could be served better.

Ive been kind of ruminating on how it must feel to have a doc tell you you are at the end of the ride. It’s gonna happen to all of us. We just don’t get notice all the time.

Sad stuff. The suffering of others really hits you. Doesn’t seem fair. My stuff will work itself out. Seems like time is the cure cause no one seems to have any answers. I think I’ll hold off on jogging for a while.
 
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How's everyone doing? At the beginning of 2020, there was a thread debating covid 19, i see its gone now.

A lot has happened, my other half left at the end of 2021, it was sudden, unexpected & confusing. After 12 years, all she said was "i'm not happy & i cannot continue". Apparently we had a lot of talks about it, which i did not remember.. to which she said, "if you don't remember, i suggest you get some help.

She blamed me for everything, said nothing, & suggested that i needed psychiatric help. I honestly had no idea what was happening, i was given time to move out, but the next day, it was changed to just 2 weeks. i had to pack everything i had & moved into an empty apartment. I worked in the daytime & packed my things in the evening. I made a trip everyday and rented a truck on the last day.

It was bad, i was confused, i didn't know what was happening, to say it was upsetting would be an understatement.
It took months to get things fixed, hot water, appliances, furniture, cabinets. Living in a mess, unpacking & re-packing things, donating & throwing things away. I found a shrink that cost more than phone sex, and that was the only thing that helped.

Long story short, she was gaslighting me. With the benefit of hindsight & help from my shrink, she had many, many narcissistic personality traits. She was very subtle, what they call a covert narcissist, everything she blamed me for, she actually did herself. Anger management, not talking, avoiding issues, silent treatment, guilt tripping, never apologising, the list goes on.

i had months of her constantly reaching out to add more agony till i just cut contact. Was told i could come see my cats & collect my things, went there to find my things at the rubbish point & nobody home. Left the treats for my cats at the door & left.

Left some furniture there, was told i could come get them when i cleared things & sorted out my stuff. 2 days after i moved out, she put them up for sale..

There's pages & pages that i had to write down, memories, little incidents that now make sense. Things that went missing, but was told i either never had them, or had thrown them away. Well, i found some of those things when i was packing my things. My spare keyboard that i supposedly never had was stuffed behind my cupboard. Seeing the shrink was good and bad, good was getting things explained, bad was not being able to sleep.

Best of all, my bff took her side & 2 close friends re-located overseas. So i went through it alone. I'm still working on things 21 mths on. The first year was rough, i had no will to go on. I was on a lot of alcohol, Battling suicidal thoughts daily is no joke, depression, anxiety, and cptsd combined wore me out. I came close... the only thing that kept me going was taking care of my cat.

i guess thats all i have to say, i'm still here...
Glad you're still here brother. It takes a lot of guts to make a post like this. I've thought about it a few times but haven't had it in me. I've wanted to respond to this thread before too but always been reluctant. This one hits too close to home though. My wife blindsided me with a divorce about 4 months ago. Married 12 years and together 17. My entire adult life. Doesn't think she can have a happy future with me anymore. We have 2 small children. I've been having a rough go with "mental health" the past few years for various reasons and it was too much on the relationship. The "D" word did not exist in my vocabulary and I thought we were on the same page with that. Anyway, I'm out of the house and the real kick in the pants is she started seeing another guy (an existing friend from a running group who's also divorcing his wife) about a month after she hit me with the divorce. The betrayal hurts more than words can express. I was also laid off from my job awhile back and having a hard time getting a new job. It's like my life has just completely fallen apart in just a few months. It's a hard road and divorce is no joke. Never in a million years thought it would be me but here I am. I'm also going through it without much of any support. It's part of the reason I spend so much time on OmegaForums and I'm thankful for the community here that I can engage with even if it's just hanging out in the WRUW thread or posting cat pics. I started writing this thinking I'd just delete it but screw it I'm just going to post as is and not bother editing. It is what it is. Please feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

For those that are married I'll just say don't take your marriage for granted like I did. Communicate and have hard conversations when needed and work at your relationship. I never thought it could happen to me but ultimately the choice wasn't mine.
 
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How's everyone doing? At the beginning of 2020, there was a thread debating covid 19, i see its gone now.

A lot has happened, my other half left at the end of 2021, it was sudden, unexpected & confusing. After 12 years, all she said was "i'm not happy & i cannot continue". Apparently we had a lot of talks about it, which i did not remember.. to which she said, "if you don't remember, i suggest you get some help.

She blamed me for everything, said nothing, & suggested that i needed psychiatric help. I honestly had no idea what was happening, i was given time to move out, but the next day, it was changed to just 2 weeks. i had to pack everything i had & moved into an empty apartment. I worked in the daytime & packed my things in the evening. I made a trip everyday and rented a truck on the last day.

It was bad, i was confused, i didn't know what was happening, to say it was upsetting would be an understatement.
It took months to get things fixed, hot water, appliances, furniture, cabinets. Living in a mess, unpacking & re-packing things, donating & throwing things away. I found a shrink that cost more than phone sex, and that was the only thing that helped.

Long story short, she was gaslighting me. With the benefit of hindsight & help from my shrink, she had many, many narcissistic personality traits. She was very subtle, what they call a covert narcissist, everything she blamed me for, she actually did herself. Anger management, not talking, avoiding issues, silent treatment, guilt tripping, never apologising, the list goes on.

i had months of her constantly reaching out to add more agony till i just cut contact. Was told i could come see my cats & collect my things, went there to find my things at the rubbish point & nobody home. Left the treats for my cats at the door & left.

Left some furniture there, was told i could come get them when i cleared things & sorted out my stuff. 2 days after i moved out, she put them up for sale..

There's pages & pages that i had to write down, memories, little incidents that now make sense. Things that went missing, but was told i either never had them, or had thrown them away. Well, i found some of those things when i was packing my things. My spare keyboard that i supposedly never had was stuffed behind my cupboard. Seeing the shrink was good and bad, good was getting things explained, bad was not being able to sleep.

Best of all, my bff took her side & 2 close friends re-located overseas. So i went through it alone. I'm still working on things 21 mths on. The first year was rough, i had no will to go on. I was on a lot of alcohol, Battling suicidal thoughts daily is no joke, depression, anxiety, and cptsd combined wore me out. I came close... the only thing that kept me going was taking care of my cat.

i guess thats all i have to say, i'm still here...
If needed call 988 it’s the National suicide hotline. When you get into thinking as it is now it shall always be but things never stay the same. Don’t lose hope people make it through some tough things and come out ok. Nothing wrong with admitting things suck right now just don’t get caught up thinking this is it. Maybe some support groups, just a thought. I wish you the best and stick around until the miracle happens.
 
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Stumbled across this thread and have read more than a few pages. There is great courage involved when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. And such courage leads to encouragement. Thank you all for your courage and words of encouragement! If you are struggling, know you aren’t alone. Reach out. Keep grinding. Get outside. Find a reason to smile. Most of all, keep your head up!
 
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I just stumbled across this (as you do) and wanted to provide details about mental health crisis helplines here in the UK;
If you're outside the UK, the Befrienders Worldwide website https://befrienders.org/ has a tool to search by country for emotional support helplines around the world.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. You will not be wasting anyone's time!

Urgent support:
If you or someone else is in danger, call 999 or go to A&E now!

If you need help urgently for your mental health, but it's not an emergency, get help from NHS 111 online or call 111, or contact one of the organisations below to get support straight away.

Mental health crisis helplines:

If you're in crisis and need to talk right now, there are many helplines staffed by trained people ready to listen. They won't judge you, and could help you make sense of what you're feeling.

  • SANEline. If you're experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30pm–10.30pm every day).


  • Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service.

  • Shout. If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.



  • Nightline. If you're a student, you can look on the Nightline website to see if your university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.

  • Switchboard. If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you can call Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 (10am–10pm every day), email [email protected] or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.


 
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Gotta write this help cleanse it from my mind. I was doing an assessments on a nice young lady at work. She got asylum to the US from Liberia when Liberia was at war. I mentioned Abraham Lincoln’s links to Liberia to which she was surprised I knew the history (Liberia was a U.S. colony prior to Lincoln but anyway) since she was happy I knew about her country and had a smile when I spoke of it I thought we were in safe territory.

Out of my own curiosity I asked how things are in Liberia. Shit got dark quick and she told me she was gang raped when she was 8 years old during some warlord conflicts. She dropped her head and started crying. She wished not to speak on the subject further which I honored, I only had a half hour to spend with her you don’t want someone going deep into detail about the worst time in their life when you don’t have proper time to wrap things up make sure everyone is in a sturdy state of mind.

It was quite heartbreaking I hear a lot of sexual abuse and it’s all bad of course but her story was much more intense.

I had to dig a bit find a topic she liked to make the transition and religion was her thing. At first she told me she followed Islam but then told me she believes In Christ. I thought maybe there is an African sect that is like Muslims who believe in Christ it turns out she just didn’t have a full understanding of the religions.

What makes people be able to bounce back from such horrible events? By the end of our time together I had her laughing and she showed hope for the future. I needed paperwork from her which usually takes my clients months to get she had it to me in two days. She is very grateful to be in this country I bitch about a lot. The only thing she asked me for was a winter coat. I got upset our donations are bare and I’m just gonna buy her one today say it was donated.

Damn the stuff happening in the world really makes you wonder sometimes.
 
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Hi folks, it’s been a while ::shy:: Okay, I spent far too long being insulated from the outside world. Other than work and my wife, I’ve been quite withdrawn most of the year. Though it seemed like a fabulous idea at the time, in retrospect, it really sucked to not have connection with friends. Apologies to those who I ghosted, and THANK YOU to those who reached out.

What did I miss? :coffee:
 
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I just want to echo @Scarecrow Boat and say that you certainly have been missed.

What did I miss? :coffee:

Hmmm . . . Several great deals in the sales forums, 37 posts from newbies inquiring about an inherited watch, 11 inquiries posted in the recommendations (not for inquiries) thread, some Aussie inherited an amazing 2915 from his grandfather . . . and the general consensus of the forum is that Kevin O"Leary is a giant DB (but Omega may or may not be considered entry level depending on who you are asking and the context). Also the forums have been pretty peaceful, either the mods are getting better at keeping people in line or all the troublemakers have been weeded out.
 
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I just want to echo @Scarecrow Boat and say that you certainly have been missed.

It also appears moons and lambos are back some some of us yolod. Hope you feeling better

Hmmm . . . Several great deals in the sales forums, 37 posts from newbies inquiring about an inherited watch, 11 inquiries posted in the recommendations (not for inquiries) thread, some Aussie inherited an amazing 2915 from his grandfather . . . and the general consensus of the forum is that Kevin O"Leary is a giant DB (but Omega may or may not be considered entry level depending on who you are asking and the context). Also the forums have been pretty peaceful, either the mods are getting better at keeping people in line or all the troublemakers have been weeded out.
 
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As both the originator of this thread and someone who has themselves disappeared, welcome back!

This place is so much more than just a watch forum.
 
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We're grateful you're here DaveK!
 
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I try my best to shake things off when I walk out the door at work but we got a couple in their 70’s in. They ended up with me. The greedy landlord jacked up the rent and with medical bills for his wife who is being treated for cancer they ended up homeless. They guy told me for the last year they have been saying goodbye to each other.

He was/is a musician and had a nice Martin guitar. He was telling a group of us he and his wife’s story and asked if he could play a song for us. He played this and I don’t think there was a dry eye around

Fortunately if I really work the phone I can find someone holding a voucher for special cases, usually the elderly and young get first dibs. So they have their own place now for Christmas but it was coming down to the wire. One voucher floating around and god bless the girl who gave it to this couple. Yes I begged but I’m not ashamed. Very sad story that had a somewhat positive ending. I don’t know how long his wife has but he told me when she goes he will be ready to leave.

Damn that one almost sent me to a bar I mean who knows I like to think l will be ok in my 70’s if I live that long but these weren’t dumb people just a run of bad luck nothing separates me from them. I wish I could hunt down that landlord see the stress he put on a couple that were already dealing with the most stressful thing a human can deal with. Damn that one was tough.
 
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