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Because We Need To Talk About It

  1. RevZMan123 May 19, 2023

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    OOof. I guess since we're sharing ... May is tough for me ... and now especially since dad passed 5 years ago feb 6th ... mom is gone only 2 years now mar 3rd ... then dad's birthday was may 1st, mom's dad was may 3rd, and mom's was the 5th. So yes, this time of the year has started to suck as they parents passed away. My sister-cousin (mom's brother's daughter who grew up next door) is 10 years older and we've fallen out of touch besides social media platitudes. I sometimes talk with her daughters, but they 3 are in their mid twenties and I'm sure don't give a shit what their old cousin is doing but I do say Happy Birthday.

    Hell, even trying to repair watches isn't helping -- after a few bungles, I've not even picked up more than some bracelet changing tools. I'm supposed to see some vintage winders this week so hopefully I'll be able to clean up some pieces I've had languishing like a black dialed GP that needs a spring and a few others.

    But it doesn't take much more than a picture or thought of my family to render me useless for a few hours. Thankfully I just got a new tractor with a loader and rear digger so I can toil away in the garden for a few hours at a time.

    Not sure where this post is headed other than I appreciate you all and the time we give each other.
     
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  2. Walrus May 19, 2023

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    I know exactly where you’re heading the things that usually work to take your mind off things aren’t working. I called my mother on mothers day and I could tell she had no clue where she was or who I was and I’m battling MRSA so I can’t walk into in Alzheimer’s unit possibly expose a bunch of elderly people with Alzheimer’s. Makes me feel like crap I can’t just drive up and visit. I think we are approaching the end phases. Just had a girl I’ve been working with pass away as she gave up on treatment. That was Wednesday. I’m scheduling some oral surgery for myself, I hate dentist and oral surgery but I’m not bummed because of the mrsa and teeth stuff I’m bummed because they are obstacles I gotta get past to take care of others peoples much more dire serious issues.
    I like doing magic tricks for people as it takes my mind off of stuff and makes them laugh but I can’t even do a false shuffle or a bill change right now cause I can’t get my head into it. It’s a crappy feeling. The US spends 300 billion a year taking care of Alzheimer’s patients and in ten years that could be in the trillions.
    You can’t make people want to get better and I improve their situation. That gotta come from within. I include myself in that sometimes I gotta do motivational interviewing on myself. Grief is cumulative is put very well. We see more of it as we age and we have developed more empathy as one I was young I thought the world revolved around me not the billions of other people on earth. Don’t they know who I think I am?

    Finding that balance is tough and “leaving things at the door” when I walk into my house is a weakness I have. I’m not good at that. I try to think “am I missing something here, an I not providing proper services.?”

    Should I start drinking again. We are all facing similar dilemmas they may be wrapped in different colored papers or prettier boxes. Shoot sorry now I don’t know where I am going with this. Maybe I’ll go horse back riding this weekend, either that or stay home and pout. It could always be worse, I could be in Ukraine worrying about the same stuff but dodging bullets and bombs.
    Ok enough. Apologies long week.
     
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  3. pdxleaf ... May 29, 2023

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    IMG_6327.jpg

    To everyone who lost someone to covid.
     
  4. Fish70 May 29, 2023

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    Take care of yourselves everyone and enjoy every sandwich.
     
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  5. Watchguests Jul 9, 2023

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    I’m new here Glad to join the group. I have been lurking for a while. Learning so much and new experience here so i decided to join. Thank you for having me
     
    pdxleaf likes this.
  6. Aroxx Sets his watch Jul 9, 2023

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    ChatGPTBot strikes again...
     
  7. pdxleaf ... Jul 9, 2023

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    Guessing or you know for sure?

    (Something I need to get more experience with detecting)
     
  8. Aroxx Sets his watch Jul 9, 2023

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    I don't know anything for sure. Don't know if there is a chatGPT bot that spams forums but this fits the MO we've seen before. Strange, out of context intro post digging up some ancient post/thread and always in a highly inappropriate thread for some reason.
     
    S.H., Wryfox, Foo2rama and 2 others like this.
  9. Wryfox Jul 10, 2023

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    I read recently that Facebook removes 6 BILLION fake profiles a YEAR. There are only 3 billion ligit(perhaps) members. I moderate a FB group and our membership fluctuates radically as members are automatically removed by FB. It has become MUCH harder in past few months to vet new member requests. We know we are letting in bots but can't figure how to stop it.
     
  10. BlackTalon This Space for Rent Jul 10, 2023

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    It
    should
    not
    be
    that
    hard
    to
    detect
    bots
    bzzzzt
     
  11. vbrad26 Jul 10, 2023

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. JwRosenthal Jul 10, 2023

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    It’s only a matter of time before the chatbot becomes a Rolex douche and moonwatch freak.

    IMG_7982.png
     
    watchyouwant, Dsloan and S.H. like this.
  13. mydeafcat Jul 26, 2023

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  14. omegafan79 Aug 1, 2023

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    Thanks for sharing!
     
  15. Walrus Aug 9, 2023

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    If you would be so gracious as to allow me to say a few words for a gentleman I have been working with for half a year or so. Ended up homeless and alone after having a family, gainful employment his own home etc. I put a lot of things in front of him hoping something would catch but he just couldn’t get it together. He did suffer from a chronic fatal illness, the type your born with but he had it managed and under control in the present.

    I had written a few letters for court for him I decided to follow that a little deeper and found he had 29 “tickets” for panhandling and public nuisance type of stuff. The judge was going to give him 5 days in jail (probably would have been a day). Mark O. The gentleman of whom I speak never let me know how much this was really bothering him. I was able to get to court before him one day talk to the public defender, prosecutor and judge, they just wanted to know if imo he was panhandling to feed an addiction. I was able to say truthfully that was not the case. He really liked to try the local food trucks and was just trying to get enough money (he was a trained chef) to try different foods. They tossed all the cases.saw him later that day towards the end of July and he was smiling from ear to ear thanking me but I told him all I did was speak the truth on his behalf.

    Two days later I wrote him a reference for one of the top restaurants in the shitty city I work in. He had a prep cook job lined up. Then on a Friday moments after I left work the hospital called looking for family contacts as Mark O was not going to make it. It wasn’t drugs. Tbh I’m still trying to get to the bottom of everything but it could have been that crazy covid outbreak we had causing complications to his chronic illness.

    I hate to tell you how many calls I get like this and so often there are no family to reach out to, that was the case with Mark O. I know religion is not big around here but I was hoping whatever you may choose to believe in you could take a moment and just say a good word for Mark. I can’t imagine the stress these guys feel when they are established and lose everything. But I can say beyond a doubt had Mark been given the time he was going to put it back together and have his own place again.

    I’m glad I got to see that happiness and drive return at the end. I’ve been dealing with some post Covid BS out of my 8 infections it has only happened once before but it was a struggle to get to work , the day I went to court for him I almost didn’t come in. I would have been full of regret had that happened.

    This is probably getting TLDR but in closing I would often talk to mark about giving up the panhandling and then driving home after work I’d see him out there on the highway exit ramp with his sign and I’d yell “get a job you bum” he would turn red and start laughing. On good days he could make 80 bucks or so. I’d take him to his favorite food truck for lunch sometimes and I’ll be damned he was right, they had some good food. Fair thee well mark. I hope there is good food in the beyond I’m sorry you went through so many difficulties but you hung in and were just called home before you put it back together and we both know you would have.

    Thank you for allowing me to do this. Mark will have no obituary or services and if I went overboard no problems if it needs to be deleted I understand
     
  16. Aroxx Sets his watch Aug 9, 2023

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    I keep coming back to this post, but not sure what to say. A "like" doesn't seem sufficient. I'm starting to get a bit of perspective about how things can fall apart like this for people. Sucks. Life is hard. It is too bad about Mark but thanks for sharing his story. My condolences Walrus.
     
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  17. Walrus Aug 10, 2023

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    Thanks Mr @Aroxx and thank you for reading about mark. I can’t do a long diatribe for everyone who passes but some leave an impact on me. Funny I just got a call from the restaurant that wanted to hire him asking me why he hasn’t got back to them. I just couldn’t tell the tale at that time so I told the head chef I would call him back. So strange the timing but I guess there is never a good time to pass away. Kinda blew my mind with how it turned like this.
     
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  18. Dsloan Aug 10, 2023

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    Hey Walrus, I'm not religious, but I still can't help but think that you are doing the Lord's work. I know it may be cliche to say, but any of us have could end up like Mark some day. If I was unfortunate enough to be in a similar spot, I'd be thankful for someone like you to help me try and pick up the pieces.

    My condolences. I hope you are getting the support you need in doing your work. Vicarious trauma and the like are no joke when you're constantly helping people in serious situations.
     
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  19. Walrus Aug 10, 2023

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    Well thank you. very kind words but I do not think I’m worthy of them. My intentions were in no way meant to “ glorify myself” it just gave me a way to pay respects to someone who probably would have fit in well here as he found watches cool, I had slipped him a Vostok. I feel bad he will buried with no one around. It’s not about me it’s about Mark and the god knows how many homeless wandering the world.
    Tbh I do like trying to work in ways that it directly helps people you see so much negativity, hate and divisiveness (which I get into at times) but that doesn’t qualify me for sainthood. I am hoping it knocks a few thousand years off my extensive time due in purgatory.

    My goodness we had a couple in their mid fifties who lost their small business during the pandemic then some health issues and bills piled up they hit up their 401ks they ended up in the shelter and they poor couple had a breakdown about the reality of being homeless hitting them. People could probably say “poor financial planning” or whatever but why would you. I’m not above anyone I’m that place. Tears your heart out to see.

    So no I wish I could say I felt I was doing something by direction of a higher power these tales are strictly about the residents. Thanks again though.
     
  20. Bumper Sep 26, 2023

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    How's everyone doing? At the beginning of 2020, there was a thread debating covid 19, i see its gone now.

    A lot has happened, my other half left at the end of 2021, it was sudden, unexpected & confusing. After 12 years, all she said was "i'm not happy & i cannot continue". Apparently we had a lot of talks about it, which i did not remember.. to which she said, "if you don't remember, i suggest you get some help.

    She blamed me for everything, said nothing, & suggested that i needed psychiatric help. I honestly had no idea what was happening, i was given time to move out, but the next day, it was changed to just 2 weeks. i had to pack everything i had & moved into an empty apartment. I worked in the daytime & packed my things in the evening. I made a trip everyday and rented a truck on the last day.

    It was bad, i was confused, i didn't know what was happening, to say it was upsetting would be an understatement.
    It took months to get things fixed, hot water, appliances, furniture, cabinets. Living in a mess, unpacking & re-packing things, donating & throwing things away. I found a shrink that cost more than phone sex, and that was the only thing that helped.

    Long story short, she was gaslighting me. With the benefit of hindsight & help from my shrink, she had many, many narcissistic personality traits. She was very subtle, what they call a covert narcissist, everything she blamed me for, she actually did herself. Anger management, not talking, avoiding issues, silent treatment, guilt tripping, never apologising, the list goes on.

    i had months of her constantly reaching out to add more agony till i just cut contact. Was told i could come see my cats & collect my things, went there to find my things at the rubbish point & nobody home. Left the treats for my cats at the door & left.

    Left some furniture there, was told i could come get them when i cleared things & sorted out my stuff. 2 days after i moved out, she put them up for sale..

    There's pages & pages that i had to write down, memories, little incidents that now make sense. Things that went missing, but was told i either never had them, or had thrown them away. Well, i found some of those things when i was packing my things. My spare keyboard that i supposedly never had was stuffed behind my cupboard. Seeing the shrink was good and bad, good was getting things explained, bad was not being able to sleep.

    Best of all, my bff took her side & 2 close friends re-located overseas. So i went through it alone. I'm still working on things 21 mths on. The first year was rough, i had no will to go on. I was on a lot of alcohol, Battling suicidal thoughts daily is no joke, depression, anxiety, and cptsd combined wore me out. I came close... the only thing that kept me going was taking care of my cat.

    i guess thats all i have to say, i'm still here...
     
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