A pretentious, snobby, old fashioned guide to choosing a strap

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Grade: C
Sorry, black racing chronograph = black leather rally strap. At least you matched the colors.

This is fun. It's like OF's answer to Archie Luxury.
 
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Awaiting your esteemed feedback on these:

First, a diver on a Marine Nationale strap. (Sorry, no Yema available).




Chronograph on strap with very large perforations.




And Peccary strap to accentuate the gold.

 
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Aw hell. I'm screwed. 🙁

Grade: A
Assuming you wear black shoes with the Seamaster, and brown shoes with the regulator, you nailed it. 😀
 
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Awaiting your esteemed feedback on these:

First, a diver on a Marine Nationale strap. (Sorry, no Yema available).




Chronograph on strap with very large perforations.




And Peccary strap to accentuate the gold.


Grade: B
That panda pairing is inspired! Triple bonus points for matching the shape of the perforations to the subdials (also just plain great watch). The diver should be on rubber, however. The Seamaster is a tough one, because while it's definitely not a dress watch, it's a stretch to call it a sports watch. I guess peccary works, but I don't like the shade. Also, is it straight cut? It should be tapered
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Grade: B
That panda pairing is inspired! Triple bonus points for matching the shape of the perforations to the subdials (also just plain great watch). The diver should be on rubber, however. The Seamaster is a tough one, because while it's definitely not a dress watch, it's a stretch to call it a sports watch. I guess peccary works, but I don't like the shade. Also, is it straight cut? It should be tapered

The Peccary is tapered, 18mm down to 16mm at the buckle. And the strap color is more gold to match the dial furniture , less yellow in natural light, that's the iphone camera.

Am I up to a B+??
 
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How about in-your-face-yellow on a dress watch? 😁

 
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Struggling with this one. Rose gold 18k. This strap way too casual. Black or dark brown alligator?
 
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MtV MtV
How about in-your-face-yellow on a dress watch? 😁


Grade: A-
I actually really enjoy that. I made it a minus because there's no respectable outfit you can wear it with, so you have to just admire it in the case and wear something else.
 
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Struggling with this one. Rose gold 18k. This strap way too casual. Black or dark brown alligator?

Grade: D
Yes, way too casual. You want cognac colored crocodile, to add some dignified gravitas to that watch.
 
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Grade: F
It's like you're ashamed of the watch and don't want anyone to notice it!


I will carry my sadness forever.
 
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Please also touch on your opinions:
- Taper vs non-taper on straps and bracelets
- Lug fit that is too tight or too loose. Is it ever acceptable? Stuffing a 19mm in an 18mm hole for instance.
- Accepted buckle styles?
- Deployants on leather straps?
- Stainless mesh with flat ends on a curved watch (the latest Bond Omega for example)
 
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Grade: A-
I actually really enjoy that. I made it a minus because there's no respectable outfit you can wear it with, so you have to just admire it in the case and wear something else.

Naked at home it works just fine.
 
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Happy new year, and grateful thanks @bradurani for your teaching - both the wit and the authority. I think I've grasped most of it, but I'm still dragging my knuckles a little over a couple of things...

1) When does acceptable brown cross that line into (unacceptable) red?


2) Likewise, when is brown not brown but orrrnge?


3) Dress watches - surely midnight blue is, sort-of, well, OK?


Thank you again for the PSA about the vile two-chunky-stitches thing (We'll never know why they happened, but hey, so long as they get rid). However... there has to be just a leetle leeway for discreet contrast stitching? With a two-tone dial? Please?


(Btw even if I don't make the standard GPA requirement for OF, I actually identified as smart on my application, so they said I get a free pass.)
 
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I appreciate what you’re trying to do here — who doesn’t go into shock every time they see someone wearing brown shoes with a business suit, after all — but I can’t help feeling you’re being a little too proscriptive.

I feel sorry for those style-challenged Italian navy divers who committed the awful faux pas of wearing their Panerais on leather straps, for example, and you’re not giving any room to shell cordovan?

forgive me my sins — I don’t particularly like metal straps, and I’m not trying to convince anyone that I dive with a 65-year-old watch on….

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