A pretentious, snobby, old fashioned guide to choosing a strap

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This is an Apple Watch Ultra on a custom Corrigia strap from Germany. What is my grade?

A nerd watch on a used dog chew. Hmmm.... let me think about that
 
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Grade: D
That Heuer Bundeswehr is magnificent! I'll concede that my initial proscriptions on military watch straps don't cover all cases. History matters here. There's much literature on the forum around what straps were issued on what watches by what countries. Listen to the posters who have done their homework, and follow suit. I don't know what was issued to German pilots in the 60s, by a NATO wouldn't surprise me. Unfortunately for you, tan is only ok where one might expect to be fighting in the desert, and I can't find any mention of Germany being engaged in a desert conflict during that age. Black would have been the more sober choice.
That Rolex big crown is very special too. Here again, some research is necessary. I don't know exactly when the rubber dive strap was introduced, but I'm guessing it was after the vintage of this watch. Maybe a vintage cloth dive strap is the way to go here? I know the leather you have it on is wrong.
That GMT looks terrible. Sorry. The Omega Seamaster (also a gorgeous watch) looks good on that strap, but is it nylon, or cotton? Nylon would be more appropriate. The Speedmasters are all wrong.

My little lovely with the Eulit Bund strap still manufactured and issued. The perfect pairing. Grade A+

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Grade: F-
The horror, the horror!

Alaska, he dead.
 
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My little lovely with the Euler strap still manufactured and issued. The perfect pairing. Grade A+


You're not the grader, sir, but yes, A+
 
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Grade: C
I see what you did here, matching the strap to the lume, and it's not terrible, but that's just a bleh color in general, and those parachute straps arent secure enough for diving.
That watch looks so sinister and manly on a black dive strap, just stick with that. Get one with a flared top to make it look wider than it is and enhance the visual weight of the case.
 
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and you certainly have me thinking about a rubber diver with flared ends now.
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and you certainly have me thinking about a rubber diver with flared ends now.

Grade: A
Now that's a manly watch!
 
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Rubber fetishists! What’s wrong with good old fashioned leather? :whipped:😁
 
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On a dive watch?
Not all diving is done in water! Fetishests go to all sorts of dives to indulge themselves!

And all jokes aside (yes I was joking) let’s face it 99.99999999e % of dive watches never go into the water, they don’t even get anywhere near the kitchen sink let alone be used for diving!
Think of how many dive watches there must be out there…. Millions, More? Who knows? Now think of how many divers? Probably out well numbered by dive watches, I’d say.
I’d have @ 1/2 a dozen of them and don’t dive, I probably would have but for medical reasons.

A lot of dive watches probably don’t even live near the coast, so not much likelihood of the going to great depths.
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Not all diving is done in water! Fetishests go to all sorts of dives to indulge themselves!

And all jokes aside (yes I was joking) let’s face it 99.99999999e % of dive watches never go into the water, they don’t even get anywhere near the kitchen sink let alone be used for diving!
Think of how many dive watches there must be out there…. Millions, More? Who knows? Now think of how many divers? Probably out well numbered by dive watches, I’d say.
I’d have @ 1/2 a dozen of them and don’t dive, I probably would have but for medical reasons.

A lot of dive watches probably don’t even live near the coast, so not much likelihood of the going to great depths.

Yeah, point taken...it's the sizzle not the streak that's being sold and we just all accept that and I guess that's what you are saying. However, there is just something to staying within a historical context - there is for me at least. Leather on a diver - heresy! ::facepalm1:: my Speedmasters wont be going into Space anytime soon that I know of but they will never wear a rubber strap. My little explorer certainly wont be going higher than sea-level and also wont be seen dead sporting a rubber strap . My GMT gets a good flight work out every year though and stays on bracelet or leather never rubber 😁 😁
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Yeah, point taken...it's the sizzle not the streak that's being sold and we just all accept that and I guess that's what you are saying. However, there is just something to staying within a historical context - there is for me at least. Leather on a diver - heresy! ::facepalm1:: my Speedmasters wont be going into Space anytime soon that I know but it will never wear a rubber strap. My little explorer certainly wont be going higher than sea-level and also wont be seen dead sporting a rubber strap . My GMT gets a good flight work out every year though and stays on bracelet or leather never rubber 😁 😁

Grade: A-
Finally someone gets it! Downgraded to A- because I talked to Elon yesterday and space travel is closer than you think
 
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Well better get the wife's permission to order a black rubber one and explain it's bad etiquette to be seen with these.


Beauties! where did you get those? Deployment?
 
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Not a rally strap, but it still has speed holes to help me optimize performance?


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Colin Chapman, the creator of Lotus cars, known for their lightweight construction ( to the point of being absurdly flimsy in the early days)
Used to say he’d add lightness, he would drill holes in everything he could get away with, to achieve this end…………he would’ve approved.
 
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Your comments welcome about these two straps.
1. add overall warmth without detracting from moon disc, lume, hands...

2. complement colours on the dial ...



Military watches go on RAF-style single pass straps, or a black or green NATO. If you put a bracelet on a military watch you're asking to get shot by a sniper.

... and your sniper comment reminded me of the strap on Stallone 🤦: