Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]

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I want one.

 
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A man loses three fingers in a work accident. At the hospital he asks the doctor, "Will I be able to drive with this hand?" The doctor replies, "Maybe. But I wouldn't count on it."
 
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Vile.
If you don't like roasts, there's always the Ravioli option - great in soups apparently...

 
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You see ladies, this is a chart to help decide if men are explaining things in too much detail so that ladies won't be offended. Is that clear?