Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]

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My wife was looking after the neighbours cat, and when she was closing up their house, the cat tried to get outside just as she shut the door. Caught the cat's tail in the door, and cut it clean off! She brought the cat over in a panic and I drove them into town. I pulled into the Walmart parking lot, and she asked why Walmart. I said they were the largest re-tailer around...
 
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I always wait for the big sales before going in for urgent care
 
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My wife was looking after the neighbours cat, and when she was closing up their house, the cat tried to get outside just as she shut the door. Caught the cat's tail in the door, and cut it clean off! She brought the cat over in a panic and I drove them into town. I pulled into the Walmart parking lot, and she asked why Walmart. I said they were the largest re-tailer around...
Boo, hiss. 😀🤪
 
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Yep, looks delicious…

They are in fact delicious. My South African mate introduced me to them over a few cold beers.
I do like a good Cumberland snag too, but the Boerewors have it for extra flavour.


 
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They are in fact delicious. My South African mate introduced me to them over a few cold beers.
I do like a good Cumberland snag too, but the Boerewors have it for extra flavour.


No link-making machines handy?
 
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"Hang on, let me check my joke inventory real quick... Oh wait, it’s empty because I keep cracking them all the time!"
Might be time to add to your joke inventory 😉
 
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They are in fact delicious. My South African mate introduced me to them over a few cold beers.
I do like a good Cumberland snag too, but the Boerewors have it for extra flavour.


Legally and ethically, sausages should never appear in public shaped like this.
 
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No link-making machines handy?
As an apprentice butcher and thereafter I must have hand linked hundreds of kilometres of sausages. 2kg for $5 on special when I started. I can still link just as quick even though I hadn’t done it for 20+ years when I drop into a mates shop whilst he was making them.
Now with mixing mincers and linking machines 😔
 
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As an apprentice butcher and thereafter I must have hand linked hundreds of kilometres of sausages. 2kg for $5 on special when I started. I can still link just as quick even though I hadn’t done it for 20+ years when I drop into a mates shop whilst he was making them.
Now with mixing mincers and linking machines 😔
 
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How do we know Mike Tyson’s not very religious?

Because he punches people in the faith…