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Wryfox
·
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
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BlackTalon
··This Space for RentYa can just hear the banjo music sound track to the whole sordid affair!
😄
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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Pastorbottle
·
There is a 3rd door option labeled: "Same shit, different day"
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lindo
·Wife made me go to couples therapy last week
Nice office
Two couches
Box of tissues
The therapist asked what brings us in
My wife said "he treats everything like a transaction"
I said "that's not true"
The therapist asked me to give an example of something I do that isn't transactional
I thought about it for 11 seconds
I could not think of an example
The therapist asked how that made me feel
I said "efficient"
My wife looked at the therapist
The therapist looked at my wife
They had a moment
I was not part of the moment
My wife said "do you love me?"
I said "I chose you. Every day I choose you. That's not emotion. That's a commitment with a compounding return and I don't see a better alternative in the market."
The room went quiet
My wife cried
The therapist cried
I didn't understand why
That was the most romantic thing I've ever said
The therapist said "I think we should meet weekly"
I said "what's your hourly rate?"
She said "$275"
I said "for both of us or each?"
My wife picked up her purse and walked out
I stayed to negotiate the rate
Got it down to $250
Small win
Nice office
Two couches
Box of tissues
The therapist asked what brings us in
My wife said "he treats everything like a transaction"
I said "that's not true"
The therapist asked me to give an example of something I do that isn't transactional
I thought about it for 11 seconds
I could not think of an example
The therapist asked how that made me feel
I said "efficient"
My wife looked at the therapist
The therapist looked at my wife
They had a moment
I was not part of the moment
My wife said "do you love me?"
I said "I chose you. Every day I choose you. That's not emotion. That's a commitment with a compounding return and I don't see a better alternative in the market."
The room went quiet
My wife cried
The therapist cried
I didn't understand why
That was the most romantic thing I've ever said
The therapist said "I think we should meet weekly"
I said "what's your hourly rate?"
She said "$275"
I said "for both of us or each?"
My wife picked up her purse and walked out
I stayed to negotiate the rate
Got it down to $250
Small win
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- 2,781
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- 4,692
Pastorbottle
·
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bubba48
·Teacher: Can you name 10 African animals?
Student: 6 elephants and 4 lions.
Student: 6 elephants and 4 lions.
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Wryfox
·
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JimInOz
··Melbourne Australia
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hen
·Its only going to get worse.
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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Wryfox
·
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flw
··history nerd
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bubba48
·Teacher: Can you tell me the future tense of “to eat”?
Pupil: “to digest"
Pupil: “to digest"