- Posts
- 2,830
- Likes
- 8,321
hen
·
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
- Posts
- 8,022
- Likes
- 28,169
Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
- Posts
- 1,696
- Likes
- 5,410
flw
··history nerd
One of the greatest minds of the Scientific Revolution.
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
- Posts
- 1,933
- Likes
- 8,479
Pun
·
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
Archer
··Omega Qualified WatchmakerMy friend Bill died recently, because they didn’t know his blood type, which was really tragic.
But he was a real fighter and was upbeat to the very end you know, always saying "B positive…B positive…"
But he was a real fighter and was upbeat to the very end you know, always saying "B positive…B positive…"
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
Archer
··Omega Qualified WatchmakerScientists recently combined the DNA of a crab with a cheetah. Unfortunately shortly after things went sideways really fast…
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
- Posts
- 3,870
- Likes
- 6,588
Vercingetorix
··Spam RiskPlease no responses:
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
Archer
··Omega Qualified WatchmakerI started hiding from my boss at work. I heard that good employees are hard to find.
- Posts
- 1,933
- Likes
- 8,479
Pun
·My wife came home early and caught me in bed with a beautiful woman ….
She screamed:
“You filthy pig! How can you do this to me - to the mother of your children?! We’re getting a divorce!”
I said:
“Honey, please… just let me explain!”
She crossed her arms:
“Fine. Talk. But these will be your last words.”
So I told her:
“Look sweetheart… When I got off the bus, I saw this poor lady. She was freezing and starving, and she asked me for help. How could I ignore her?
I brought her home and gave her the pizza you didn’t eat last night because it was ‘too greasy.’ She devoured it.
She was filthy, so I told her she could take a shower.
While she was in the bathroom, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I gave her the lingerie I bought for our anniversary - the ones you hated because they were black. I gave her a pair of your jeans you never wear just because my mom bought them. Then I gave her that shirt you didn’t even unpack because it was from a cheap store.
Honey… you should’ve seen how happy she was. She was glowing.”
"I walked her to the door. She turned back, tears in her eyes, and said ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?"
“And as you can see… here we are. In bed.”
She screamed:
“You filthy pig! How can you do this to me - to the mother of your children?! We’re getting a divorce!”
I said:
“Honey, please… just let me explain!”
She crossed her arms:
“Fine. Talk. But these will be your last words.”
So I told her:
“Look sweetheart… When I got off the bus, I saw this poor lady. She was freezing and starving, and she asked me for help. How could I ignore her?
I brought her home and gave her the pizza you didn’t eat last night because it was ‘too greasy.’ She devoured it.
She was filthy, so I told her she could take a shower.
While she was in the bathroom, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I gave her the lingerie I bought for our anniversary - the ones you hated because they were black. I gave her a pair of your jeans you never wear just because my mom bought them. Then I gave her that shirt you didn’t even unpack because it was from a cheap store.
Honey… you should’ve seen how happy she was. She was glowing.”
"I walked her to the door. She turned back, tears in her eyes, and said ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?"
“And as you can see… here we are. In bed.”
- Posts
- 2,830
- Likes
- 8,321
hen
·Zohran Mamdani is expected to require ALL New York Elementary school students to learn Arabic numerals.
Earlier polls shows that 56% of US citizens are against the teaching of Arabic numerals in school.
Commenters thinks it going to get worse, later in the education schools are going to teach about Al-gebra.
Earlier polls shows that 56% of US citizens are against the teaching of Arabic numerals in school.
Commenters thinks it going to get worse, later in the education schools are going to teach about Al-gebra.
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
- Posts
- 17,680
- Likes
- 36,980
JimInOz
··Melbourne Australia
- Posts
- 910
- Likes
- 4,207
lindo
·Practical application of lateral thinking:
- Posts
- 7,123
- Likes
- 23,114
M'Bob
·I have good news, and bad news…
- Posts
- 8,022
- Likes
- 28,169
Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
- Posts
- 2,727
- Likes
- 4,376
sheepdoll
·The Dickens christmat fair opened this last weekend. I have been rehersing christmas for the last month!
-- not sure if that is a joke or not? This year I am the Questions Answered lady. So I am well versed in answering pythonesq questions.
Q. What do you call a turtle without a shell?
A. Food for a Python named Monty.
-- not sure if that is a joke or not? This year I am the Questions Answered lady. So I am well versed in answering pythonesq questions.
Q. What do you call a turtle without a shell?
A. Food for a Python named Monty.
- Posts
- 29,305
- Likes
- 75,778
Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
- Posts
- 2,830
- Likes
- 8,321
hen
·