Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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I broke my glasses the other day. I haven’t had a chance to replace them, so I’ve been drinking out of my hands…
 
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Big difference between an idea and it's execution....

Apparently also available in large, very large and frighteningly huge sizes!
 
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My wife texted me this morning and said, "Your great."
I replied: “No, you're great."
She's been in a great mood ever since. I should correct her grammar more often.
 
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A new slant on recycling! Why had I not thought of this before today? Re-purposing a phone booth as a porta-potty!

 
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A new slant on recycling! Why had I not thought of this before today? Re-purposing a phone booth as a porta-potty!

We have an expression here in Oz: "talking to god on the big white telephone" it refers to being on your knees, throwing up into the toilet bowl whist crying out "oh god! "between chunders!
It's all the more applicable with this shithouse!