Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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I was driving down the road the other day and there was a cop in front of me. I quickly sped past him, and he pulled me over.

He came up to my window and asked why I was in such a hurry. I explained that we were both headed in the direction of the doughnut shop and I needed to make sure I got there first!
 
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You're making a good case for supplanting Hen with the worst 'jokes'.
Hey! Archer makes good jokes!


And I want my name spelled right on my worst "jokes" diploma. Lower case "h" if you please.
 
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies" he responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" she asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
 
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Sisyphus didn't have a bad gig.

Sure, he rolled that rock a big hill every day.

But, he was able to enjoy the view on his walk back down.
 
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What's with the repeating joke posts? Is it short term memory loss, or are we running out of jokes?
 
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A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?'

'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift?'

'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back, which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo.

They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble.'

'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde.

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!!

There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

'What the heck are you doing here?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.'

'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over --- so now we're going to SeaWorld.'