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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Archer
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I saw 2 black birds in the yard today, and they were stuck together. Turns out they were Velcrows…
 
Archer
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Charlemagne1333 Charlemagne1333
Obviously not cats from your vicinity. They usually meet their maker before their owners…
Responsible cat owners keep their pets inside, where they are well fed…

😉
 
Tony C.
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Archer Archer
Responsible cat owners keep their pets inside, where they are well fed…
A collar with a small bell attached also works well.
 
Archer
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Tony C. Tony C.
A collar with a small bell attached also works well.
Funny you should mention that. My wife sent a message out on our local community facebook group suggesting just that if people were going to be irresponsible enough to let their cats roam. What prompted that was hearing the screams of a young bunny getting slaughtered and dragged off by a cat the other night while we were watching TV with the windows open, enjoying the spring weather (up until then anyway). It is quite a disturbing sound. Despite my wife’s best efforts she wasn’t able to chase it down…
 
Archer
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Charlemagne1333 Charlemagne1333
Inside good. No arrows 😉
Just FYI…arrows are far too expensive to waste on a cat. 😉
 
sheepdoll
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Why dogs are man's best friend: If you die first they eat you starting with the fingers.

In the antarctic though if you are starving, and tired of seal and penguin then man eats the dog first.
 
97TJ
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If you get kidnapped by a mime, they'll do unspeakable things to you.
 
Archer
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Charlemagne1333 Charlemagne1333
So you prefer to get up close and personal… okay…
You have some "interesting" fantasies mate...
 
Archer
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blufinz52 blufinz52
You're making a good case for supplanting Hen with the worst 'jokes'.
You know I had a long dream the other night that I was at work. No joke.

I woke up the next day and called in sick - I'm not working twice in one day...
 
blufinz52
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Archer Archer
You know I had a long dream the other night that I was at work. No joke.

I woke up the next day and called in sick - I'm not working twice in one day...
Point made 👍
 
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