Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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I always carry my drumsticks with me, and while stopped at a very long traffic light the other day, I was air drumming in the car along to some Rush. I suddenly lost the grip on one stick and it flew out the window...so with just one stick I had to change the CD to Deaf Leppard...
 
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I went to the doctors recently to have a suspicious looking mole checked out.

He said they all look like that, and that I should have left it in the garden...
 
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Today I was having a hard time getting my wife's attention. So, sat on the sofa and made myself comfortable. That did the trick!
 
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Today I was having a hard time getting my wife's attention. So, sat on the sofa and made myself comfortable. That did the trick!
Did she start vacuuming under your feet?
 
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It seems they were married in a Baptist Church. As I understand it, Baptists believe in full-body immersion baptism. I wonder what liquid they filled the font with? 😉