Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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A woman got on a bus, holding a baby.

The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen,”

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

“The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed.

The man sympathised and said, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“Thanks a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”
 
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A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here.”
 
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If Pinocchio were to say, “My nose will grow now,” it would created quite the paradox…
 
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That's the last time I give blood! So many questions!

"Why's it in buckets...why's there so much?"

Can't a person just do a good deed?