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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

kkt
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staristheanswer staristheanswer
The daughter of the chief police department went to her fathers office and tells him:

-Daddy,your policeman are stupid.
-Why? Said her father
-Because I asked them if you find how many apples I have in my backpack I will give you the six of them and they started saying numbers like one said 3 the other 5 another policeman said 8 and so on noone found it.
And than her father said.
-Why you get mad sunshine,how many apples you had?
馃槙

So what's the punchline?
 
Edward53
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The joke revolves around the idea that she has already told the policemen how many apples there are and they still can't guess the number. Nor can her father, which makes it twice as hilarious.

This joke might have worked better in whatever the original language was, but it falls rather flat in English.
 
ConElPueblo
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Edward53 Edward53
This joke might have worked better in whatever the original language was, but it falls rather flat in English.

Indeed. From the wording, the only thing I could gather was that there was six or more...
 
JimInOz
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People that don't get the joke are like the chief policeman lol ::rimshot::

I apologise. I missed the important article (the), which now seeing that, makes the joke sense.
 
M'Bob
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staristheanswer staristheanswer
The daughter of the chief police department went to her fathers office and tells him:

-Daddy,your policeman are stupid.
-Why? Said her father
-Because I asked them if you find how many apples I have in my backpack I will give you the six of them and they started saying numbers like one said 3 the other 5 another policeman said 8 and so on noone found it.
And than her father said.
-Why you get mad sunshine,how many apples you had?

The following people have nothing to worry about:
image.jpeg image.jpeg image.jpeg
 
M'Bob
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The wild animals gathered and decided to open a grocery store at the forest.
Next day early in the mornig the rabbit went where the store was built and he saw a very big line
in front with all the animals waiting for the store to open.
The rabbit wanted to go in front of the line so he started to crowl and pushing other animals and going under the legs of the hippo,he was near the wolf.
The wolf saw him and said
-What are you doing exactly?
and punched him hard and the rabbit flew in the end of the line again.
Determined,the rabbit started to crowl again and push animals and go under and left and right and he was
at front of the line where the lion was.
The lion saw him and said
-What are you doing here in front?I am first.
And punched him hard and the rabbit flew to the end of the line again.
The rabbit mad got up and walking away said:
-F*** you all,I will not open it today.

image.jpeg
 
image.jpeg
Edward53
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staristheanswer staristheanswer
The wild animals gathered and decided to open a grocery store at the forest.
Next day early in the mornig the rabbit went where the store was built and he saw a very big line
in front with all the animals waiting for the store to open.
The rabbit wanted to go in front of the line so he started to crowl and pushing other animals and going under the legs of the hippo,he was near the wolf.
The wolf saw him and said
-What are you doing exactly?
and punched him hard and the rabbit flew in the end of the line again.
Determined,the rabbit started to crowl again and push animals and go under and left and right and he was
at front of the line where the lion was.
The lion saw him and said
-What are you doing here in front?I am first.
And punched him hard and the rabbit flew to the end of the line again.
The rabbit mad got up and walking away said:
-F*** you all,I will not open it today.

It's probably a good idea to leave the jokes for a while. They aren't really working and people might get the idea you're trying for an easy 200 posts.
 
Edward53
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I really don't like when people trying to tell me what to do.
I guess you don't like it either and I really really don't care what other might think I am trying to do.

Post 57...
 
Tony C.
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PenTemp2.jpg
 
M'Bob
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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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.
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One,they're efficient and not very funny.

Are you from Munich?
 
ConElPueblo
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Zuke Zuke
The jokes lately have been awful

I actually liked the one with the mangoes and the melons 馃檨
 
M'Bob
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staristheanswer staristheanswer
Alex,am I a bad mother?
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My name is Steve.

I have nothing against you personally , but here's the thing: implicit in telling a joke is that it should be funny, at least in some respects. The external manifestations of this are a grin, a chuckle, a snort, a laugh or a gaffaw. When a joke is not funny, one tends to groan, roll one's eyes, shake their head, say 'WTF does that mean' or something similar.

I can't impress this upon you enough: the juice had to be worth the squeeze. Why post if there is such a low probability that the expected or intended result almost never happens? It's like going to a vintage car forum, and someone writes, "Show us your vintage gems," and you post this:

image.jpeg


Nobody wants to see it. After too many times of mostly variations on the same theme, people start to get annoyed. So please, run your jokes past the fellows at the local pub. If you don't get asked to leave, post it here.
 
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