Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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…and before creating pie charts…

Tomorrow’s question:

Should pollsters take a workplace sobriety test before compiling pie charts…
 
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Curmudgeon's Observation

Going to bed early.
Not leaving the house.
Not going to a party.

My childhood punishments have become my adult goals!
 
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"Today I learned for the first time," bemoaned Tony, "that Albert Einstein was an actual person!"

"Can you believe it?" he continued with a hangdog expression, "All my life I believed he was just a theoretical physicist!"