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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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Wryfox
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Wryfox
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member"Tik-Tok Investors"
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pdxleaf
·Finally............ Listening to J.Bidens twin Brother who seems a whole lot smarter.
Okay, we're going there?
What's the difference between Trump and Zelensky?
Zelensky defends his capital.
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Wryfox
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Duracuir1
··Never Used A Kodak
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Watch my Whisky
·A guy tried to sell me a coffin.
I told him that’s the last thing I need.
I told him that’s the last thing I need.
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Wryfox
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M'Bob
·Stewardess! Can I change my seat please?
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury memberThere's such a rich vein of comedy gold to be found in the financial space these days, that I can't resist continuing posting various nuggets. 😁
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!"What's the matter?" Sam asked his friend Tony as they sat nursing drinks at the local bar, "You seem really down today!"
"Yeah, well you would be too!" replied Tony as he finished his drink and motioned for another round.
"My new girlfriend just told me I'm awful in the sack!" he whined. "And it's just so unfair! How can she possibly come to that conclusion in less than a minute?!"
"Yeah, well you would be too!" replied Tony as he finished his drink and motioned for another round.
"My new girlfriend just told me I'm awful in the sack!" he whined. "And it's just so unfair! How can she possibly come to that conclusion in less than a minute?!"
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Cenzo
·Guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will then close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove myself unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals - unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle"
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will then close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove myself unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals - unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle"
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lindo
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STANDY
··schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collectorBoy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.
Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?
Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too… and she’s the best cook and story teller in the whole world!
Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there!
Boy: What problem?!
Dad: She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother!
Boy: Why not?! You married mine!
Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?
Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too… and she’s the best cook and story teller in the whole world!
Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there!
Boy: What problem?!
Dad: She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother!
Boy: Why not?! You married mine!
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JimInOz
··Melbourne AustraliaOn that theme (child logic).
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pdxleaf
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M'Bob
·Who says decorum is dead?
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Wryfox
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