Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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UK Beach Cafe from 1957.... but what if I just want chips.... and no Spam and chips or spam with spam !
.

 
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All Hands on Deck

IIRC Scotty also suffered a near fatal leg wound from friendly fire when cut down by one of his own BREN Gunners.

Another actor who had a artificial middle finger told of once shaking his fist at a cab driver, the fake finger remaining rigid he sent the wrong message.
The cab driver slapped the offending finger and it flew off. The cabby had a heart attack on the spot.
 
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A man with a dog comes onto the stage in a variety show.
- Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Marvo, the incredible talking dog! Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I shall ask the amazing Marvo a series of questions and he will give me the correct answers in English!
The act starts:
- Now Marvo, name the type of lace collar that Elizabethans used to wear.
- Ruff!
- What do we call the pointed structure on top of a house?
- Roof!
- Who is a British goalkeeper who has won over 50 international caps?
- Rough!
There are cries of "Rubbish!" and "Get off!" They are pelted with missiles and have to leave the stage.
In the taxi on the way home, Marvo and his owner are very silent and dejected. Then Marvo says, "Do you think I should have said Peter Shilton for that last one?"
 
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Replying to a post with only the original post and not adding anything 🤦::stirthepot::😝
 
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Replying to a post with only the original post and not adding anything 🤦::stirthepot::😝


Sorry about that. Didn’t intend to post anything. No idea how it happened. Must have touched the wrong button.

Mods please remove.
 
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Sorry about that. Didn’t intend to post anything. No idea how it happened. Must have touched the wrong button.

Mods please remove.

No worries at all, just a little friendly ribbing. 😜👍
 
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WHO comes with some new COVID-19 virus advice...



"I wouldn't touch it with a six foot pole!" declares top scientist.
Edited:
 
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Just advertising
Too funny as I just saw this across the street and was going to post it myself. It's a good one!
 
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Q: Why do you never see Hippos hiding in trees?





























A: Because they're very good at it.
 
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Too funny as I just saw this across the street and was going to post it myself. It's a good one!
Let's have coffee there someday...